always & forever

9 | „promise?"

the second half began and barça tried to create more chances . especially pedri and lewandowski were the main elements . but the fact that they need to play more offensive now , leads to more gaps in the defensive which bayern used . in just 15 minutes , the game was 4-0 . xavi is walking around and thinking of any good subs . in the 77' minute , pedri scored and the game was 4-1 . i am not a fake fan or anything but i don't really believe that barça is going to win this today .

i was right . the game ended 4-2 with raphina scoring in the 86' minute . when the referee blew the whistle many of the barça players lay down on the grass , exhausted , disappointed and definitely not in a good mood . in contrast to the bayern players , who thanked their fans for traveling and supporting them even in spain . i decided to go up to gavi first , as he looked like he was on the verge of tears . i know that he is dealing with stuff right now , but i haven't talked to him about it as i don't wanna push it . he should tell me when he's ready . as soon as i got to him and he saw me , he stood up and hugged me . i hugged him back , my hand in his sweaty but still fluffy hair , while he hid his head in the crook of my neck and i swear i felt tears .

„it's okay gavi , you still have many games to equalize this game"

i told him and he just nodded . he didn't want to let go because he was now crying for real and obviously he doesn't want everyone that is watching seeing that . after a while with him calming down he released us and made me miss his near instantly .

„thank you"

he mumbled while looking me in my eyes .

„always"

now he was smiling again and ruffled my hair . i hate it when someone does it . i love it when he does it . i smacked his arm away and he stormed off into the changing rooms with ansu and pedri . those three i swear . i went to look around to search for jamal as he was staying with me .

„amyyyyy"

that's him .

he jumped on my back and almost made me fall over because of his weight .

„bambiiii"

his nickname given by none other than leroy sané himself .

„cmon lets go home"

i told him and he said goodbye to his teammates as we happily got in xavis car .

„hey xavi , i appreciate you for letting me stay"

„well , she's happier around you so i am happy when you're here"

awh .

when we got home , i helped jamal unpack his few things . he was staying with me in my bed , we always used to do it as little kids and it just stuck i guess .

(conversation is now in german , bit i'll write it in english)

„soo what is wrong?"

woah he is going directly to the point .

„where do i start?"

„at the beginning?"

very funny .

„well , since i am here in barçelona i have no one to open up to except for the ones outside of this town and i feel alone you know? my parents death is still very present and nobody here knows anything about my past . i don't know if i can trust anybody here , i feel like they'd all judge me or something like that"

he took it all in and after i finished , he immediately pulled me into a big bambi hug . i started to cry , wishing to stay like this forever and never letting him go anywhere away from me again .

the whole evening was pretty chill . we cuddled and watched german childhood movies and films . my favorite was definitely peter pan , mia and me and yakari . my childhood fr .

the next two days went by way to quickly , with me and jamal spending bestie time with each other and us having much fun .

well until he went to the airport . the whole barça team was over at xavis because they had a meeting or something , don't ask me . jamal wanted to go to the airport himself and i let him .

„ich will nicht dass du gehst bambi"
-> i don't want you to go bambi

i said to him while we hugged .

„ich auch nicht aber es ist kein abschied für immer"
-> me neither but it's not a goodbye for forever

i sighed .

„ich weiss"

„ich hab dich lieb herz"

favorite fucking person .

„ich dich mehr bambi"

i let go and he wiped my tears away and gave me a last forehead kiss , before stepping out of my new home and leaving me all alone again .

i need to talk to someone .

just now i realized that everyone of the team were watching us and all of them saw me crying . perfect . never ever have i been happier that no one except lewa understands german .

„wird schon wieder kleine"
-> it'll be fine soon little one

that was him . i send lewa a sad smile and walked the stairs up , wanting to be alone . well , that didn't work out too long . i felt someone knocking at my door .

„come in"

„heyy it's me"

i'd recognize this voice everywhere . fuck i missed this sound .

„hey gavi"

„you ok?"

„have been better . you?"

„i'm good but there's something i wanna ask you hermosa and you are going to be honest with me okay?"

„i'm scared now , but do spill"

he sighed and closed the door after him , placing himself on my bed , sitting directly next to me now .

„are you really okay?"

„yeah?"

„amara i am serious"

„i am fine gavi , seriously , you don't need to be worried i promise"

„don't act stupid , i saw the tattoo"

fuck . no no no . that wasn't how it's supposed to happen . not right now .

„what tattoo?"

amara , he isn't dumb .

„your medusa tattoo"

„oh"

he softly took my wrist and pushes my bracelet up which revealed the black ink . he kissed it .

pablo gavi kissed my medusa tattoo . i cannot . please marry me . have my babies . that little gesture actually meant so much to me . tears threatened to spill out and they did .

„don't cry hermosa"

„sorry"

i cracked and he pulled me into a hug .

„gavi i am not okay"

he just pulled me closer to him .

„i know amara , i know"

i released me from the hug and looked him in the eyes .

„if i tell you about everything going on , will you judge me or push me away? i mean i'd understand you-"

„never ever would i do that amara . i would never judge you for your past okay?"

„promise?"

„promise"

end of chapter 9 🫶🏼

love all of you beautiful people , stay safe

aleyna