always & forever

40 | „patience jobe"

AMARAS POV

when gavi finally decided to let me go , i stormed off , not bothering to return to watch the barcelona players train , no , i went directly to the parking lot where xavis second car stood , jamal and jude leaning against it . when they saw my tear stained face , i immediately got pulled into their warm embrace .

„love , what happened? who do i need to kill?"

„pablo"

that was the only word that escaped my mouth and they both already startet to ramble about him , insulting him in every possible way . jamal , being the one with a few more brain cells , asked me what happened and i just told them the last part where gavi grabbed my wrist . the part where he broke down infront of me was not found in my explanation because even though gavi is putting me through all of this hell , it was still something very private . panic attack was something he had quite a few times during our relationship or even before that and i know i wouldn't want anyone to tell other people , so i didn't tell them .

the ride back was silent , my tears just rolling down my cheeks . i don't even know why i am crying , i think i just miss how it was before .

when we arrived home , i told jude and jamal that we can go shopping for my birthday in an hour , i jut need some time .

the worst thing out of everything was , i was afraid of gavis touch now . his touch now reminds me too much of my father because he said the exact same things that my father always told me .

how can i ever come near him again? and now people would ask me ; but you basically hugged him before that , and yes , i am not denying that , but it was a whole different situation , in that moment he was weak and hurt and i cannot stand seeing people hurt so my adrenaline took over .

„you are such a useless kći! i wish you would just disappear! you only cost me and your mother money! don't you realize , djevojčura? you are the problem here!"

that's what he said and his cigarette landed in my forearm , leaving more and more scars each time .

my father was right when he said that someday the person who you love most , will realize how horrible i really am .

so they were both right . my father and gavi .

my mind was turned off and i grabbed my little pocket knife , which i hadn't used since 1 year .

that changed now .

JUDES POV | amys birthday

„happy birthday dear amy , happy birthday to you"

me and jamal lay down next to her witg me on the left and he on the right , singing for our favorite girl .

she woke up with a (forced) smile and pulled both of us to her chest .

„thank you so much"

amara kisses mine and jamals hair and i think she wanted to sleep again . we have plans for her , so that's not going to happen .

„amy wtf? are you really about to sleep again?"

„shh it's my birthday today"