Not His Enya (Geniuses and Genetics Book 2) (BWAM)

15

Enya

"You ever feel like you're settling?" Gabriel asked me.

We were sitting outside with the boys, it was night time and I loved looking at the stars here. In America, especially with us living in New York you couldn't see the stars too well. With us living basically in the middle of nowhere the stars were one of my favorite things.

"No" I looked at him weirdly "You always ask me the strangest questions, Gabriel"

He turned over and looked at me "I'm serious, you ever feel like you're settling with anything in your life?"

"No" I shook my head "Not that I can think of, what about you?"

"I don't want to be in the Mafia forever," He said and I looked at him.

"Really?"

"My moms dead, not really a reason for me to stay." He leaned over kissing me "I already got the girl too"

"You sure did" I pulled him back kissing him again "How about this? We both go to college and get out of this stupid Mafia life"

He smiled at me making me smile "Really you want to?"

"Let's do it, baby"

"I was happy" I went over to my closet and pulled out the box of Gabe's clothes I kept in the back "why can't I get over this fucking feeling," I said and started ripping his clothes apart. I hated I felt this way and I hated that I knew why, this one thing was tearing my life apart and I hated that I couldn't stop it.

Why didn't he just leave me?

I jumped hearing my phone going off and went over grabbing it, I saw it was a text from Eziō.

Read The Beast Within by Émile Zola, you'll enjoy it.

I threw my phone against the wall, and I hated that fucking bitch for using books to understand me. I read the fucking book already, was he calling me Severina? That I was settling with Roubaud because I knew I wanted more?

"How the fuck would he even know? Am I really that obvious"

"You having a hard time?" I turned around looking at my brother, wiped my face and he looked down at Gabriel's ripped shirt.

He came over hugging me and I started crying "What is wrong with me" I hugged him tighter, "I thought I was doing the right thing"

"There's nothing wrong with that" He pulled my face up to look at him "You can stop feeling guilty Enya, you can stop hating him."

"I can't and I don't know why"

"You do Enya" He smiled at me "You do, you just need to admit it" I shook my head "Yes you can, say it Enya. It will only help you. You can't keep living like this, say it." He said firmly.

"I-I didn't love him" Alonzo nodded his head "I was comfortable"

"Good, keep going"

"He still died knowing that I didn't love him" I tried looking away from Alonzo but he made me look at him.

"Come on. You know I'm not going to shield you like mom and dad. So fucking say it, Enya."

"I didn't want to love him, I tried though but I just couldn't a-and he knew and he died" I started crying again and Alonzo hugged me. "I-I tried but I lied to him and I lied to myself."

He held me tighter "You can be happy and not love someone, that doesn't make you a bad person Enya. Gabriel knew that he was a selfless person and we're raising you to be selfish. You'll be okay"