Super Mario Bros Movie Rewrite

Needs vs Wants

The four of them stood inside a small diner on a not well known corner. It was a small, quaint shop, but it was home. For the entirety of Mario's life, Papa and Mama have run this place using their own bare hands...and the bare hands of all of their friends and family. Italians gotta stick together, ya know?

Mario: "Mama, papa, it isn't that bad!"

Mama: "Isn't that bad? ISN'T THAT BAD?!? Jump man, are you hearing this lunatic right now?"

Papa: "Oh I'm hearing him! But I'm not sure he's hearing us!"

Jump man walked over to Mario as he grabbed his ear and screamed into it.

Papa: "SON, ARE YOU STILL SANE OR DID YOU LOSE YOUR BRAIN TOO?"

Mario quickly pushes his dad off of him while digging a finger into his ear.

Mario: "Ah dad! You got some spit in my ear!"

Papa: "GOOD! At least I know something's in your head!"

Mama: "What made you go and think that this was a good idea anyway? Was the job getting too easy? Did you not have enough work?"

Papa: "No, no, no, the job wasn't getting too easy, Mario and Luigi here were getting too lazy!"

Mario: "No we weren't dad!"

Papa: "Then what was it? Why'd you go stupid on us?"

Luigi: "I don't think that's necessarily stu-"

Mama: "Oh, my dear Luigi, Mario forced you into this, didn't he?"

Mama grabs Luigi, holding him for a long hug that causes his spine to loudly crack. Luigi immediately shuts up due to the pain.

Mario: "Dad, come on!"

Papa: "Come on with what? You aren't explaining anything you idiot!"

Mama: "Maybe if you actually talked and didn't do things in the spur of the moment, you'd both still have jobs and Luigi would be okay right now!"

Luigi: "I am really...REALLY NOT OKAY AND NOT BECAUSE OF MARIO!"

Papa: "So, go ahead!"

Mario: "I'm trying but-"

Mama: "Spit it out!"

Luigi: "Mario PLEASE, MY LIFE DEPENDS ON IT!"

Papa: "SAY IT MARIO!"

Mama: "SAY IT!"

Mario: "I WANTED TO HELP PEOPLE!"

Papa and Mama both stop, with Mama dropping Luigi, and stare at Mario's eyes.

Mario: "I wanted to help people...just like you did dad....back when you were a plumber....you always told us about how little things help out massively.....and I wanted to help out massively...by doing something that...we constantly have trouble with."

Mario points over to the bathroom as a loud grunt is heard.

Man in bathroom: "WHAT DO YOU PUT IN THOSE NOODLES?!?"

Mario: "I just....you taught us how to be plumbers so....I wanted to be a plumber..."

Both of his parents stare at him for a few moments....before his mom shakes her head, smacks him in the back of his, and then turns to Papa.

Mama: "I told you not to bring them with you when you were out plumbing! They got a big head on their shoulders because of you!"

Papa: "How was I supposed to know that my good deed would turn him into a dense person? I was just trying to show them that problems can be solved!"