Super Mario Bros Movie Rewrite

It's going down in Jungland!

A multitude of Bowser's airships fly through cloudy skies as koopas run around their interiors, gathering bullet bills to load into each of their cannons. Magikoopa is aboard the main ship, seemingly commanding the entire fleet from it. He walks past a number of armored guards as he makes his way towards two double doors.

Once he reaches them, he flings them both open, walks in, and waves his wand, forcing them to close from a purple flash of magic.

A circular table, with a large indentation in the middle, is situated at the edge of the room. As Magikoopa gets closer, his arms begin to wave through air in a circular motion. Magical shapes, which float from his palms, fly directly into the indent, causing a head like figure to begin to transform....before spinning and turning into Bowser's head, with no body to be shown.

Magikoopa: "Lord Bowser....bringer of justice, teller of truths, forger of the one true world, uniter of the creatures, peace-bringer unto all, the-"

Bowser: "I'm so sorry, but I'm not here right now!"

Magikoopa: "Wha-"

Bowser: "I'm currently out of my castle! I might be pillaging, or burning down bridges, or even trendsetting! Have you seen my fashion sense?"

Magikoopa: "A prerecorded message? Ooo, I told Bowser to be ready for my report at this time! Ugh...what could he be doing right now anyway?!?"

Bowser is currently waiting in a line at a koopa grocery store. The entire building has a castle like aesthetic to it, which goes well with Bowser's style.

Bowser has a basket full of blankets, a light blue box, and a bottle.

Two koopas stand in front of them, with only one currently at checkout, buying a number of supplies that are slowly being scanned by the cashier goomba and his bug scanner, which he holds in his mouth and swipes over the items as the customer presents them.

As Bowser sighs and looks at his wrist, a koopa behind him recognizes him and steps forward. The koopa leans forward and speaks.

Koopa: "Um, King Bowser?"

Bowser: "Oh, uh, hi?"

Koopa: "Uh, hi sir, I'm a koopa trooper from squad 342-B!"

Bowser: "342-OH, you're....Walter, right?"

Koopa: "What? No, Kevin...."

Bowser: "Oh, okay sorry..."

Koopa: "Its alright sir!.....uuuh, hey...can I get a autograph?"

Bowser: "Uuuuum, yeah I have a....no autographs policy soooooo....please leave me alone?"

The koopas smile drops as he takes a step back and awkwardly looks away. Bowser groans.

Magikoopa is seen banging his head against a wall as Bowser's prerecorded message FINALLY ends.

Bowser: "But honestly? It can be hard to be such a sensitive and scary turtle such as myself, so to take away from my stresses, please make your message short and sweet! Or else I will burn you alive!.....Goodbye."

A loud beep is heard as Magikoopa walks away from the wall and back over to the message machine. He inhales a large amount of air before speaking.

Magikoopa: "Lord Bowser! I have successfully brought our armies to Jungland! Our invasion is currently underway! Which is great....if you were here! I'll be completing the task of taking over soon if you do not join in the carnage of the Kong people! Anyway, hope you're having fun with whatever it is you're doing! Goodbye!"

The head disappears as Magikoopa shakes his head and walks towards the doors. His magic grabs the doors and fling them down the hall in anger. Both doors hit into every single koopa guard that was lined up next to the door...except for one. He stepped out of the way in time! He then begins to dance among the rubble before magic repossesses one of the door and flips it like a pancake onto the koopa.