Super Mario Bros Movie Rewrite

Princess Peach...

Mario: "Oh uh.....yeah, sorry about that, but he isn't actually.....mine?"

Peach gives him an unimpressed look.

Peach: "He's not?"

Mario: "Yeah! He sort of dragged me here for I don't know what reason. I guess he just...uh...was confused?"

Mario shrugs as Peach rolls her eyes.

Peach: "Yes, well still, I would like for you to escort him OUT of this room. If you didn't happen to notice, we are about to have a meeting to discuss matters that affect all of the land and we don't really need a smelly Yoshi in here stinking up the place."

Yoshi exhales out an annoyed breath at her.

Mario: "Ah, uh, yes....yeah, okay I guess I can do that....come on Yoshi?"

Mario stands up from the chair, Peach sitting down in his place, as he walks over, grabs Yoshi by the neck, and begins pulling him down the stairs.

The Toads move aside as he gets to the bottom of the stairs. Mario can hear a few mentions of humans and...marriage? He cannot, however, fully tell what they're saying due to how many voices there are around him and how hushed they are. Peach watches him inquisitively as she wipes her lap, as if to brush off some dirt or muck that was stuck to her dress. She then calls out to him.

Peach: "But before you leave, please, tell me....where do you hail from?"

Mario: "....Hail?.....Like snow?"

Peach: "No not like-where did you come from?"

Mario: "Oh! Hail like hail and not like.....um, I come from Brooklyn."

Peach: "Brook....lyn?"

Mario stops and turns back to her, placing a hand on Yoshi to keep him from walking away.

Mario: "Yeah, ya know, Brooklyn! Beautiful place that's....."

Mario suddenly remembers what he was told about Bowser. He didn't really know much about this world, which is why walking talking dinosaurs and mushroom people disturbed him so, but he also didn't know....her. Sure, she looks human, but the mushroom people look like mushrooms! He didn't know whose side she's on....so....for now...he was going to have to hang low.

Mario: "Uh......far far FAR away from here....like past some mountains and over some oceans....and whatnot."

The Toads murmur to each other as Peach rubs her chin.

Peach: "Hmm....and, might I ask, what manner of creature are you?"

Mario: "Uh....well......I'm the...manner of creature you are!"

Mario knew that sounded stupid, but if she wasn't actually a human, he couldn't risk saying he was one of it would throw her into a rage.

Peach: "So you're a human?"

Oh...

Mario then nods and points a finger at her.

Mario: "....Yes! That's right! That's what I am! A human!"

Peach: "Are you sure? You don't sound very confident...."

Mario's finger drops as he rubs his shoulder awkwardly.

Mario: "Uh....yeah sorry.....its just been a long day and.....I'm just a bit sore, a little tired, and somewhat stressed."

Peach: "Oh, aren't we all pal?"

Mario and Peach laugh as Toadsworth looks at both of them.

Peach: "So, uh, I haven't talked to a human in a while so......is Brooklyn where we all supposedly went to?"