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When I finally find her, I discover how she is just about to kiss a complete stranger. My heart tightens momentarily and I feel despair spreading through me. With a hurried step, I approach her, just in time before the kiss develops. I hurl the guy away from her with a kick to the side, knocking him out. She looks at me in shock and disbelief. Before she can say a word, I grab her hand firmly and pull her behind me with vigor, saying angrily, "We're leaving now."
She tries to fight it off and keeps banging against my hand, desperately hoping to break free of me.

When we get a little further away from the beach, she finally manages to break free - or more accurately, I let go of her then - and she stares at me angrily.
"What's your problem?" she yells at me, expecting an answer. The anger inside me rises, and I struggle to control my voice as I yell back almost as loudly, "My problem is that you were about to shove your tongue down a total stranger's throat."
She continues to yell and says, "Oh, you're allowed to do that, but I'm not? You don't get to tell me anything! And if I want to kiss someone, I will! You are not my friend, you have no right whatsoever to tell me what to do! So go to that fucking Kira!"
I'm about to retort something when she continues, "Go to someone who really wants you with them, because right now I definitely don't!" Her voice gets softer towards the end, almost broken.
"Are you jealous or what?", I ask annoyed, although inside I hope it's far more than jealousy.
"Yes, I am!" she yells at me again, and her expression is a mixture of anger and hurt. However, I can't really see it as anger - her flushed cheeks, quiet mumbling, and the fact that she can barely stand up straight make her rather cute.

As I look at them, I calmly reply, "Why?" I look at some people who are just passing by and staring at us. When they notice me noticing them, they quickly turn away and disappear.
She whispers softly, her voice barely audible, "You went to her place after you kissed me.... Instead of staying with me."
I'm still watching the people who just passed us, since they're the only ones far and wide I can watch. Because I can't bring myself to look at them. Then she continues, her voice brittle with exasperation, "...but actually I'm not surprised. She's much more attractive than I am, so no wonder."
The fact that she really thinks that way stabs me in the heart.

I slowly turn to her and only now notice the tears that flow inexorably down her cheeks. The joy that emanated from her before fades, leaving behind a fragile vulnerability. The tears stream down her cheeks as I ask her directly, "Mei, have you fallen in love with me?"
I would love to punch myself for asking this question, but the alcohol in my blood is causing my wall to crumble right now as well. My gaze searches her eyes, but she lowers her head to the floor, tears glistening in the corners of her eyes. Her breathing is heavy and erratic, and it honestly amazes me how she can even stand on her feet, as drunk as she is.
"I..." she begins in a brittle voice and slowly raises her head to look me directly in the eye. She continues speaking, "I don't know. I don't know what it feels like to be in love. I never have been. But when I look at you, it feels like my heart is going to jump out of my chest, or if we just touch for a second, it leaves my skin tingling. And ever since that kiss... I know it didn't mean anything to you, you said so yourself. But damn, I'm losing it!" she gestures wildly with her hands as she staggers over and over. It's hard to make out her mumbling words, but never before have I heard her words so clearly.
"It always starts out that way in movies and shows, but I don't want to fall in love with someone who doesn't reciprocate! Even if it's probably already too late for that and I've already fallen in love," she adds, and my eyes widen a moment later.

"Actually, I wanted to fall in love with someone who loves only me and looks at me as if I were the most beautiful creature in the world! Someone for whom I am not embarrassing and who is proud that I am his girlfriend. Who is almost bursting with jealousy because Keikei is my best friend and he doesn't want him to be so familiar with me. Someone who cares about me and will stand by me no matter how shitty the situation is. I want someone like she is in the damn movies!" she declares as her voice is choked with tears and she keeps her eyes on the floor. But now she turns her glazed eyes on me. Tears have smeared her makeup and black lines trace down her cheeks, which actually only makes her look cuter.

"I know I'm not pretty and that there are many others who are more attractive than me. My hair isn't perfectly groomed and I'm not particularly tall. My skin is not tanned and my nails are absolutely not womanly. My butt could be a little bigger. I don't wear makeup to hide my dark circles or pimples or to be prettier. I don't use perfume to smell better, instead I smell like a cheap shower gel. Instead of wearing dresses and skirts, I prefer sweatpants and sweaters and jewelry is not my thing either. I wish for someone who likes my small breasts..." she whispers while stroking her chest and looking at her own body. Her voice sounds sadder and sadder as she continues, "... and not someone who greedily stares at another woman's huge breasts or plump butt that's twice the size of mine..." she says softly, pausing for a moment before continuing again, "But you.... you're that kind of person, aren't you? You're always teasing me, you're an idiot and a pervert who paid attention to those very things with that snipe! I know I'll never have that size and I'm ugly, but it hurt like hell to see you looking at it!" she suddenly exclaims angrily.

Surprised, I look at her and a smirk creeps onto my face as I reply, "You really think so?"
"Yes!" she almost shouts, and I can't help a slight smirk. I move closer to her, gently placing my hands on her face and wiping the tears and smudged lines of makeup from her cheeks. Then I approach her face and finally place my lips on hers and I taste the salty flavor of her tears.

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