JUMP STREET'S JUNE BRIDE???

CHAPTER 18: PRE WEDDING-BLUES

It was Friday.  We were done with our case, making the arrest this morning.  On the ride back to the station, Tom was driving. I was looking out the window.  The kid we arrested in the back seat.  Tom was looking over at me. But we rode in silence, except for the radio.

Tom took the kid to his cell and got him booked.  I was doing the paperwork at my desk.

Tom said, "Great job Officer."  I said, "thanks you too."  

Tom sat at his desk.  I said, 'I'm done with the report" Tom nodded.  He said, "you got a minute."  I said, 'yes."   Tom said, "I'll go take this to Adam, then meet you outside, so we are alone."

I panic.  Great Tom is going to cancel on me for tomorrow. I won't have a date to the wedding. I will have to go alone or go with Jay and Allison. I really now can't even be my dad's date; I mean since he is in the ceremony.  I feel sick.  I knew something was up with Hanson. He has been so quiet all day today. When we rode to school to make the arrest it was not like usual. He didn't say a word, and the few times I looked at him and he looked at me he had a weird look on his face. I mean I couldn't read it.

I am trying to calm myself down. But I am having a mental image of how bad it's going to be tomorrow. I mean walking in alone or with Jay and Allison, everyone staring at me, I will look like a fool. And I can't wear that dress to the dance. I mean not even sure I will be able to wear it with Tom as my date. I'm not really comfortable showing that much skin.

I bent over and was saying, "just breathe Sydney. Breathe" I was trying to catch my breath.

Tom said, "hey are you ok. Are you sick?"  I did not want to go off on him. I mean I have no right to do that. Because it's my fault, I mean I knew this would happen that he would cancel on me, and I still let him, and Judy talk me into him taking me. I should have followed my gut and told them no. I would have been better off. Because I love working with Tom, and I don't want to be mad at him.

I looked at Tom. Telling myself do not fall apart out here, just go in and get to the bathroom.

I said, "Tom I have to go to the restroom."  But before I could finish that I started to cry.  Dammit no tears please not in front of him.

Tom said, "Hey what's wrong? Why are you crying?"  I said, "it's ok Tom. I'm going to try really hard to get past this. Besides it's my own fault not your fault."

Tom said, "What? Did I do something wrong? Did you want to do the booking and me do the paperwork" I said, "no I mean about you having to cancel. I'll be back."  I started to go and opened the door.  Tom was to the door before me and shut it.

He said, "what are you talking about me canceling. Canceling what?  I said, "isn't that why you needed to talk to me alone. You can't take me tomorrow."  Tom ran his hands through his hair.

Tom's view:

Dammit. She still doesn't trust me. I don't blame her, but it hurts.  All I wanted to do was see how she was feeling, about tomorrow and if she wanted to take the rest of the day off, and go hang out, and then I could try and cheer her up with junk food, or going to the mall shopping, and then I thought I could just stay over at her house or her mine.  Don't get mad Hanson.  But I don't listen to myself. Before I know it, I'm snapping at her.

I said, "Wow that hurts Sydney. You still don't trust me. I told you I was sorry about the way I acted at the bar. I was upset that you ripped me in front of those men. My pride was hurt. I'm sorry that I forgot to pick you up, I still don't know how I could have done that. But I thought we had moved past that."

She said, "Tom we have."  I said, "it doesn't look like it, because you still think the worst of me."  She said, "Tom I don't."  I said, "Really well it feels like it. I mean you just said that you thought I was going to cancel on you tomorrow. And said it was your fault for what trusting me, for believing in me. Dammit Sydney. That really hurts."