Book: Who Are You
Author: _calfuray_
Reviewer: Flame_of_Frost
Title: The title seems to be a reference to the lyric from Fake Love by BTS, which I’m a big fan of. Perhaps adding a question mark at the end would add to its quality and make it sound more
like a question.
Cover: The cover depicts the BTS band members, which is apt to the storyline as it is a BTS fanfiction. However your cover lacks the crucial element centre to any basic cover – the
title. Adding the story title is absolutely essential, along with the author’s name. So I would recommend working on this aspect immediately.
Blurb: The plot summary is short and concise, which does succeed in increasing readers’ curiosity. Short sentences are widely preferred by the audience, so well done on that.
However, the very few sentences were still riddled with grammatical errors. The corrected errors and some suggested changes include:
“A girl who everybody claims was born in hell.”
“Comes back to Korea with her mother to get seven step-brothers.”
“Is she really a monster or an angel?”
“Who is she really?”
Plot and Reader Enjoyment: I did like the way you introduced the characters with a bit of a prologue. The tension and sorrow in the opening scene was evident, drawing the reader’s
attention to Haejin’s character instantly. The banter and conversations between Haejin and her mother, as well as between the BTS boys seem natural and well thought out. The
conversations in bold, though, seem a bit unnatural and unnecessary. Conversations are seldom in bold unless there’s an announcement or message of some sort. So, I would
suggest writing them in normal text. Moreover, the complete lack of full stops throws readers off-track very often. Please do add the right punctuation marks at the end of every sentence
to give it a sense of completion. Moreover, adding a little more description regarding the setting and characters’ environment would make the plot seem more engaging and immersive.
Grammar: As pointed above, the book was unfortunately riddled with grammatical errors at every turn, making it difficult to focus on your plot for long. Some corrected sentences include:
“The crying of a newborn baby resounded through the hospital.” (Chapter 1)
“Everyone was waiting for this baby eagerly…”
“Sitting on the couch of their new house in Seoul…” (Chapter 2)
“Okay. From when do I have to go?” (Chapter 2)
“...Get changed and come down. I want to have a talk with all of you.” (Chapter 3)
Grammar is one of the most central elements of any story, and having a reasonably good grip over it is essential as a writer.
I would suggest using applications like Google Docs or Grammarly when typing out your story, as you will immediately be shown any spelling or grammatical error in your text. I can also recommend Wattpad editors who can help you polish your work, if you wish.
Rating and Final Note: 5/10
“Who Are You” is a fun read for any BTS or K-Pop fan on Wattpad. Fixing the above mentioned errors would greatly benefit the overall content of your book and draw in a lot
more potential readers. I do apologise for the concise review, but I feel I can provide a longer one only when the above aspects are addressed.
I will be more than happy to review your work for the second time should you return after editing your book. Happy writing!
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