Book: Noor
Author: Nohara_legacy
Reviewer: DHBurnside
Chapters read: 2
Prologue
The second sentence ending doesn’t make sense. ‘With loo making everything worse’ And the sentence after about the mother being made from dirt itself.
I like the conversation between the mother and son but I didn’t really get a lot from it. What story is it telling?
1. Disguise
I think the sister being mistaken for the king's brother is a little bit of a long shot. Maybe if there were a few more years between?
Why would the Shenhenshah assume there would or wouldn’t be hatred between the soldier and her? I think that was very presumptuous early on without an explanation.
I would remove the ‘haha’. This is text speech. Rather use, ‘she laughed.’
If she has a choice to marry for love then why is the brother waiting to marry? That would imply that he has a choice which conflicts with her.
The first chapter is strong but I think we need some background. 23 is not that young in my opinion and feels young to be married. Spinster age traditionally is 25. In some ways she feels child like. My questions are: who is the family apart from being royals? Why is her brother the king and not her dad? And finally, where is this story going?
Also, after reading the first chapter, the prologue doesn't make sense at all. I think that needs a review.
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