Book: Atlantis
Author: Haruyahhh19_
Reviewer: DHBurnside
Chapters read: 3
Ideas: 2
Details and content: 1
Introduction and closure: 1
Voice 1
Word choice 3
Spelling 1
Analysis 2
Prologue
The first paragraph has a couple of missed words which was a little jarring to read.
For example: while many students like it there while didn’t – doesn’t make sense to read. Do you mean *some didn’t?
In the prologue, there was a lot of telling and not showing. For example: he had anxiety and depression are said like statement. Why not tell a story here rather than tell the reader? Like say: since his doctor prescribed a higher dose of medication he had hoped that he would start to feel better but still he felt the same. Maybe antidepressants just don’t work for everyone...
Chapter one
I think this starts very well.
‘he cried, cried and cried’ reads like a children's book I would come up with a better way to describe emotions here.
This was a good chapter. I think we need to get more into the story here for the first chapter I thought it read well but I don’t know what this story is about or where we are going. At this point, it's not hooking the reader enough to want to read on. Why do we care about this story?
Chapter two
This chapter read well but I don’t feel like we are telling a story. It’s very rushed and we aren’t dimensionally feeling the character. Who is Felix, his likes and dislikes? Where are we, what do the rooms he is in look/feel like? What does he look like?
I feel like it’s a very high-level story and not getting into the meat of it.
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