Book: Autumn Whispers by naleoleo
Reviewer: DHBurnside
Chapters read: 3
Ideas 3
Details and content 3
Organisation and structure 4
Voice 3
Introduction and closure 3 for me the story starts in chapter 2
Word choice 4
Spelling 2 Analysis 4
Chapter 1
This chapter starts off amazingly and I was hooked immediately. It was about halfway through though that my attention left a little and it was due to the long descriptions about people and where they were. For example, a paragraph was dedicated to how to order food at the resturant which didn't add any value to the story. The ending with the mystery person out the back was really exciting to read and turned into a fast page turnover. I would suggest maybe reducing the length of some of the descriptions and keep it as relevant to the story as possible to not distract the reader particularly in chapter 1 which is the most important chaper. In later chapters it would be easier to rush past.
Chapter 2
The continuation of Jennie to start with didn't add anything to the story. I think it would have made more sense to at that stage jump straight to his point of view and come back to Jennie later. The rest of chapter two was excellent. Really good tension and flow. I don't see anything here I can offer to help the story. Other than just read over it again for some small spelling errors.
Chapter 3
Is Jennie a student? I didn't really understand how she was able to shop at a channel store, even if it was a gift for her dad. What is not really explained is the BTS members, are they a famous band or swim team, who are they? I was a little confused between the characters here, particularly in the channel shop. It was described the male was in the army and then from Jennie's point of view he was a famous celebrity.
Overall, this is a great story with huge potential.
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