The God's Game [Alba]

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Book: The God’s Game
Author: Rathilluser
Reviewer: oraclesighter
Chapters read: 29

Title: 5/5
It’s actually very attention-grabbing, intriguing. It eludes the same vibe an epic fantasy would have, it sounds mysterious and mystical (in fact, I just saw right now that you have the epic fantasy tag in your story! So you practically nailed the title).
It makes me curious, as well as stays true to the plot.

Cover: 5/5
I absolutely love the cover! It’s clean, not too complex, but still has enough details to make it pleasing to look at. It has high quality and is overall well made. I also like the crown working as a detail to represent the royalty elements included in the story!

Blurb: 7/10
It’s short and catchy, which is just how a blurb should be, preferably under 200 words. It introduces the protagonist and a fraction of his backstory. I especially found the second line to be eye-catching, being followed by the line of the said god abandoning him.

I also liked the fact that you gave us an introduction, not only to River, but to Raven as well.

However, I would’ve taken the opportunity to be a bit more specific and descriptive, hint at the conflict a bit more. Show the readers what the story is about — what makes this story so different from all the others? What am I missing out on if I don’t read this? WHY should I read it in the first place?

I feel like conflict is missing here, even though you stated River’s main issues he faced since childhood, along with the hook — which is, well, going on the adventure — it lacks conflict, consequence.

Why should the reader care? There has to be some kind of downfall to the adventure, mention it. Don’t hide it. Of course, keep it brief and don’t spoil it, but we need something to really get invested in, a reason for us to want to find out what happens.

Or you can also choose to mention the goal the protagonist has, and what he expects to find in return for going on this journey with Raven, a specific motivation for his actions. Really get the reader hooked in the story, get them invested.

Plot: 18/20
It’s a very interesting premise and story you’ve got going on. I was certainly drawn to the concept of gods interacting with the living and getting to experience their world through the lens of River, who comes from a royal background. The worldbuilding is also an intriguing factor of the plot. It seems to have a vast series of characters to introduce, kingdoms, different places, etc.

I also like the conflict about River being locked away and kept isolated most of his life. But in that case, wouldn’t he be more excited or curious to see the outside world after staying hidden away for so long? It’d be more realistic if we got an actual reaction out of him — but then again, he seems to know quite a lot about the world, considering he already knew who Raven was (or at least had an idea of him). So just how much DOES he know about the outside world?

I’d suggest making either his knowledge or how hidden he’d been a bit clearer, cause this may cause a bit of confusion or even unrealistic characters.

Another good note is that the story is fast paced, full of action, and seems to have things happening all the time. It’s engaging and doesn’t linger around a scene for too long either.

Although I think I grasp the plot being River having to go on this adventure/god’s mission with Raven to uncover a curse, you could have put more emphasis on the actual conflict, the obstacle that comes between them from accomplishing that goal.

I don’t see River specifically having any goal or motive at the start of the story either. He just kinda lets things happen to him. He’s extremely passive with all the things occurring to him. Not that that’s a bad thing. Characters can be passive with the events that take place in a story (if that’s a trait they have), but I feel like River can be developed further. Give him a goal other than completing God's mission.

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