Book: Sweet Night
Author: almostgods-
Reviewer: Nobody247GHOST
Prologue: 7/10
I love this chapter, it's a beautiful introduction to the book, even if it's not perfect. There were a few mistakes in this chapter, but it genuinely will keep your readers entertained and intrigued as they are forced to continue reading by the temptation of your book.
Everybody makes mistakes and I would advise you going back and reading your prologue just checking sentences as I noticed a few missing words, for example, "...and vampires incredible speed..." should instead be "...and vampires with incredible speed..."
Also make sure your sentences make sense, for example, "There had to be a better way to practitioners of magic to protect themselves..." should instead be something like, "There had to be a better way for practitioners of magic to protect themselves..."
These minor details may be annoying to fix but they generally stop your reader from becoming confused and annoyed by a book, which would force them to stop reading.
I love the sentences, the structure and the descriptive words but I also feel they're a bit basic for the level of writing you are displaying as you are quite talented in writing, for example, "It was a dark and stormy April afternoon..." could instead be more descriptive and captivating, for example like this, "The abnormally dark clouds spiraled and danced in the usually clear April afternoon sky..." Your sentences don't necessarily need this level up of descriptive language, but it would help to show off your talent and impress your readers to engage them further.
I love the history you have given your readers and I love the characters you have created for the readers to love or hate. I love the flaws you have embedded in this story as this is going to help your audience relate to your story. It is truly amazing, and you should be proud, well done!
Chapter One: 8.5/10
I loved this chapter, I loved the sentences and the chapters and how you build upon them to help relate to your audience, you truly have a talent for writing.
I just suggest that you read through what I have previously stated in the prologue review, just think that over and decide what to do with it.
Can't wait for the next chapter, I'm truly loving this book!
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