𝐅𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐍 | Review Shop

Notes on the City [Dee]

Book: Notes on the City by noorlightluv
Chapters reviewed: 4
Reviewer: DHBurnside

Ideas 3
Details and content 3
Organization/structure 4
Introduction & closure - the song for me didn't work but in the first paragraph I was hooked 4
Voice 2
Word choice 4
Spelling 4
Analysis 2

I think opening with the song is going to be a hate or love course. I prefered the poems in later chapters but I would keep them themed to the chapter story. Breaking the wall between author and reader in chapter one - honestly, I don't think this worked. Sophie is a writer and I think this would have worked so much better if you wrote the part addressing the reader from her point of view if that makes sense.

Chapter two the quote was much nicer to read than the song.

I got desperate housewives vibes mixed with sex and the city. Kind of like where the open each episode poetically. And then of course, sex and the city just is new york, right?

Chapter 2
This was interesting to read but I didn't think anything was happening in it either. Like where was it all going other than she woke up, felt hungover and went to meet her friends? I think it could have benefited more with the addition of a storyline going somewhere.

Chapter 3
The ending of chapter 3 was a tad cringy with the pen writing. And the wonder. If you compare to sex and the city - usually carries 'couldn't help but wonders' were kept to one line and not an entire paragraph of questions.

Chapter 4
It was becoming repetitive during this chapter which is where I felt by chapter 4 there should have been an over arching story especially because my attention was dwindling abit. I'm not saying remove any of the glitz and glamour but we do need a story to keep interest. Like when you think about the overall theme for sex and the city - it's finding love. And the main actresses are always dating, or in relationships. We need that from our main characters in this story. I feel overall we are only getting an overview of Sophie either, we aren't really feeling and seeing her in 3D. Right now, her life just feels a little too perfect and new york like. Who is Sophie, what is she looking for in life? Her likes, dislikes? What makes us the normal everyday person find relatable about

What makes us the normal everyday person find relatable about her? I think this story has amazing potential. Straight away from the first line I engaged and found it a page turner. I personally love stories like this which is why I think with just a few tweeks it can go a long way. Good luck!

─⁠──⁠──⁠──⁠─ ⋄ ☾∘☽ ⋄ ─⁠──⁠──⁠──⁠─

Thank you for requesting a review from us. Do let us know what you think so that we can improve to better provide for authors like you.