➤ The Troubled Thoughts

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Chapter 16

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          In the quietness of the night, the sound of the ships running through the currents of the waters. Even with nothing in sight but the thick blackness of the blanket sky, and the carpeted void in the ocean floor. 

The moonlight reflected in the sea, with the twinkling stars that generously offer itself as an illuminating crescendo that makes the dimness somehow tolerable. 

She looked ahead at nothing but the horizon of what she didn't know of. Her eyes almost mimicking how the luminescence of the celestials above, in her hazel eyes shines the tears that are threatening to spill. 

In every moment that passes, tightened with her grip over the railing as she stands right at the edge forecastle deck. As if the moment she loses the grip, she will lose the tiny hope that she had kept inside her.

Exactly two weeks have passed since she had stowed away in the ship full of pirates. In the expectations of terror, she did not see that these people would actually welcome her as one of them. She did her best to live with their rules, to live according to what suits her safety around them. 

She did her best as she tried to live the life of pirates, pushing all her fears and anxiety that continued to hold her down. 

Not even the exhaustion of her daily tasks, the horrifying scolding of the quartermaster, and mystery that surrounds the ship that stopped her from wishing to survive this expedition of her new life. 

Yet despite the bravery and courage she continued to force herself to take, she always found herself alone in the forecastle as she looked at the horizon. 

Just like that day where she was tied to the mast, she had nothing to do but stare at the wide stretch of ocean and sky as if there was something she had been searching and waiting for. Every night right after supper and the crew had slowly found their way to their slumber, she came to the same place and so did the same thing.

In the calmness that she gets around the dead of the night, follows the sound of soothing waves that travels the breeze of the salty air. The coldness felt like a ghostly touch in her skin, the airy atmosphere caressed her face like a person who had been wanting to offer gentleness for her. 

Through the feelings she caught by the surrounding presence of nothing but the night sky and the ocean, she felt like she was being called. 

A name that she heard in the currents, a name that she could not remember but she heard it. Calling upon her whenever she sets her eyes at the wavering ocean, feeling the certainty of something that is waiting for her return. 

Unexplainable and unknown, the sea continues to call her.

The identity that she couldn't remember, the life she had no idea what she had led. It comes in the strings and streaks of tears that she couldn't stop every night. 

There is longing inside her, for something that she can't remember. But it hurts, a pain right in her heart that gets heavier as she feels that she is moving far from the reach of wherever she must be.

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