You Light Up My Life

Just Give Me A Reason

"I do." Jonghyun answered without hesitation, with full of confidence. I never felt so happy like this way before. I felt that my whole life's complete. This is it. I'm ready to take this challenge. "I love you too." I replied and he smiled. "I know." He said. What? How does he knew it? "H-how d-" "Taemin told me and even your parents." Jonghyun cut me off and I felt so shy that he already knew and I don't know that my family and bestfriend would betray me like that. "Oh." The only word that came from my mouth. He laughed. 

"You know, you're so cute." Jonghyun flattered me. I've never heard so much compliments since I've been a rebellious teenager before and everybody are disgusted to me. "Thanks." I blushed. He leaned forward and I already know where this action's going to. Our faces are now inches away from each other. I gulped and he smiled. I felt ashamed that I only just realized his feelings for me this late. If I knew it before, maybe I'm a better person. I'm not dirty to look at and everybody are praising me. I'm sorry that I've been like this. I'm willing to change. I'm willing to do everything just to be loved by him. He captured my lips and I felt sparks. This is magical. It seems like he's the drug that I need to take to make me heal. This sweet soft lips touching mine, this addictive kiss.. it made me go crazy. It made me feel so high and wanted more from him. I deepened the kiss as I placed my arms on his neck. As we broke the kiss for air, I looked at him. His deep brown puppy eyes that can melt a million of girls even boys with his stares, garnered my attention so much. I can see everything. I can see what he really wanted to say. I can see the love, true love that I've been waiting for my whole life. 

"I'm sorry." I said. "For what?" "For breaking the promise." I said and wanted to cry. "That's okay. I have you now." He caressed my cheeks and I touched his hands. This warmth that I love to feel. "Jonghyun.." "Hmm?" "Why did you love me?" I asked and he cupped my face. "Just give me a reason why I can't love you." He said. "I'm disgusting, filthy, unworthy, betrayed you so many times, hurt you, I'm not perfect and I'm not a girl." "Shh.. Stop saying that Kibum." He cut me off after I said the word that I really hates the most.. 'girl'. That's exactly my point, I'm gay and that's one factor why Jonghyun wanted to forget about me at first. I'm not a girl that he can completely be proud at. If he's with me, everybody will have an eye at him. I don't want him to be judged. But I can't give up, right? Am I selfish? I started to cry and he wiped my tears.

"Kibum, don't say that you're not a girl and I can't love you because you're dirty, filthy, or anything because with that.. I fell in love with you more. I felt like I wanted to be the one who can give you the light. I wanted to be your protector Kibum and even before, that's my job. I love you Kibum. Even before, even when you're still fetus, you're destined for me." He said and gave me a peck on my lips. I felt so touched with everything that he'd told me. I felt relieved and secured. Thanks to him, I saw the light. I saw the light that I've been searching for my whole life. Thank God, you send him for me. Thank you.