You Light Up My Life

Month Seven

"Jonghyun! It's killing me! Jjoooong!!" I stooped down in pain. My baby is moving many times that makes me suffer in pain. My abdomen feels like it's going to rip apart. My underwear surely has stain of blood. "Bummie, just sit there. I'll call Dr. Lee." He said, panicking. "Jjong.. hurry!"

It's seems like déjà vu. The nurses pushing me towards the curtains. Dextrose connected on the back of my hand, panicking nurses and the crying Jonghyun on my side. It's been always like this since my pregnancy entered it's fifth month. Male pregnancy is indeed difficult.

"Baby, hang in there." Jonghyun whispered and touched my bump. He surely is afraid to lose his child. I closed my eyes and prayed to God that this pain will be over. Jonghyun was prohibited to go further. He promised me that everything will be alright. Dr. Lee came again to check me and my baby. Nurses taking notes, the other nurse keeps checking my blood pressure and temperature. Dr. Lee came to my side. "Kibum, we need to take the baby out of your body now." Am I hearing it correctly? Am I going to give birth already?

"But Joon, isn't it too early?" I asked and he lowered his head. "We have nothing to do, Kibum. We need to take her out. She's going to kill you if we don't take her out today or tomorrow. You've been losing a lot of blood, lately. Your blood pressure is so low. Kibum, we really need to perform it now." I closed my eyes again. For seven months living in my womb, she's still not fully develop. What if she grew up not normal? What if she have defects? What if... what if she dies?

"I need to talk to Jonghyun first." I said and he nodded. He called one nurse to fetch Jonghyun. Once they entered the curtain, Joon told him what's going to happen. "What's your decision, Jonghyun?" Dr. Lee asked. Jonghyun seems dazed after hearing those words. "Jjong.." I called and he looked at me with teary eyes. "I don't want you to die, Bummie." He simply said and held my hands. "I know that Mi-Eun is strong. She will survive. I promise you Kibum. She will survive." He said and pecked my head. I just nodded in agreement and the nurses told Jonghyun to stay outside.

They pushed me to the operating room. They told me that everything is going to be alright. I somehow felt sleepy. Everything that I see turns blurry. The last thing that I can remember is hearing Joon saying "Trust me, Kibum" and everything went blank.