thirty two // h

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should i tell her? it would f.ück everything up...

i retrieved the pair of p.ånties from behind the couch and went to the kitchen to throw them away. marina was sat on the counter with the container of strawberries in her lap. i took one more look at the undergarment in my hands before tossing them in the trash. yep. they were definitely brooke's. it was a close call, but the guilt was still there. it burned in my chest. i could feel marina's trust slowly slipping away. she was going to leave me again. she wasn't going to trust me. she was going to stop calling me daddy. i had to tell her. i couldn't not tell her. the guilt wouldn't release me until i told her. i walked up to her with tears in my eyes and wrapped my arms around her and buried my face in her chest. after i told her, who knows when the next time she'll let me hold her.

"daddy, why are you always crying?" she asked me with strawberry in her mouth.

"babygirl. i did something. something that you wouldn't like," i cried.

"what is it?" she asked, a hint of worry in her tone.

"i, uh," i struggled to get the words out, "those were brooke's. when we talked things got out of hand again. i'm so sorry. marina, i'm so sorr-"

before i could finish, she pushed me off of her. i looked up at her, and tears were already glazing over her beautiful eyes. she looked at me in disbelief. she shook her head slightly and uttered a small 'no' , but i simply nodded my head. i stood there like a child as if i were getting lectured by my parents.

she didn't say anything. oh, how i wanted so badly for her to say anything. i wanted to hear her voice.

the script was written and i could not change a thing... i want to rip it all to shreds and start again... one day, i'll come into your world and get it right... i'll say we're off better together here tonight... you're all i want... so much it's hurting... and i can lend your broken parts, that might fit like this... and i will give you all my heart... so we can start it all over again...

marina hopped down from the counter, turned towards the kitchen door and walked out without a word.

now, it was just me and the empty container of strawberries. it was ironic how i related so much to a container.

empty and alone. 

-m


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