The Incubus

Chapter 4, Scene 7

'Simon,' Justin said when he finally had a chance to be alone with him in the kitchen. 'I need to ask you something.'

'Sure, Justin,' Simon said. 'What's on your mind?'

Just then Sue from accounting walked in. The two men greeted her and took a step back. For a moment there was nothing more than an awkward silence. Simon tugged at Justin's sleeve. 'Come,' he said and nodded towards the door. 'Let's go.'

The two of them left through it after greeting Sue, and headed for the little garden next to the canteen.

'What's up?' Simon asked.

Justin looked around to see that no one could hear them talk. 'I'm not sure if I should be talking to you about this or not,' he said. He placed his hands in his pockets and jiggled his car keys.

'Don't feel pressured,' Simon said. 'You don't have to talk about anything if you're not ready.'

Justin took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Though still somewhat a stranger, he felt that he could talk to Simon about anything. Besides Rebecca, he hadn't felt this comfortable with anyone in his life before. Was it the man's friendliness? His charisma? Maybe his child-like innocence? Justin didn't know what it was, but he wanted to tell Simon things that not even Rebecca knew about him. 'It's about my wife,' he said.

Simon's eyes were focused intently on Justin. With a non-threatening nod, he prompted Justin to continue.

'She was...pregnant.'

'Was...?'

Justin bit his lip and nodded. 'She had a miscarriage.'

'Oh man,' Simon said. 'I'm so sorry.'

Justin could hear the sincerity in his voice. He could tell that Simon was genuinely compassionate.

'We were at the doctor yesterday, and they couldn't see a heartbeat. We're going for a surgical scrape on Monday.'

'Does Lance know about this?'

Justin shook his head. He didn't want to discuss his personal problems with his brand new employer. The only reason that he spoke to Simon was because he needed a shoulder, and Simon was the only person that he felt he could trust.

'You have to tell Lance.'

'Why?'

'Because you'll need leave for Monday,' Simon said. 'And most probably on Tuesday and Wednesday too.'

'I do?' Justin asked. It only struck him then that it would be best to be with Rebecca during—and after—the operation, for both physical and emotional support.

'Don't worry about it. I'll talk to Lance if you'd like.'

'You would do that?'

Simon nodded. 'No worries. Leave it up to me.'

'Thank you,' Justin said and forced a weak smile. 'I guess it would really mean a lot to Becky, eh?'

Simon stared at the little waterfall for a moment. A leaf bobbed between the rocks and continued its course down the little makeshift river into the pond. 'How is she coping with it?' he asked, not taking his eyes from the leaf.

'She's all right, I guess,' Justin said. 'Sometimes I can't help but wonder why something like this would happen to us.' He looked at Simon and shrugged. 'You're religious, right?'

'I believe that God created the heavens and the Earth,' Simon said. 'I believe that He is the Son, the Father, and the Holy Spirit. If that's what you mean.'

'Rebecca does too,' Justin said. 'I can't get myself to believe in something that would do this to someone. What did we do for Him to want to punish us?'

Simon didn't answer at first, and Justin wondered if he even heard the question. After a moment of thought, Simon said, 'It is not for man to know the reasons that God has for allowing certain things to happen. We are way too limited in our thinking. God created a self-sustaining universe. Everything interacts. Gravity ensures that what goes up, must come down. Volcanoes erupt naturally. Some people die because of that. Villages flood and people drown. We don't know why.'

'Does this God of yours have control over those who die and those who don't?'

Simon nodded. 'Yes.'

'So He ultimately decides who lives and who dies, right?'

'Yes.'

'Then why did He choose for our baby to die?'

Simon shook his head. 'I don't know,' he said. 'I don't think that anyone would be able to answer that question other than God Himself. One day, we will have a renewed mind, and only then, will we completely understand.'

'Do you think it might have been something that I did,' he asked and flinched when the evening with Megan surfaced from memory. 'Some previous sin that I committed?'

'I don't think so,' Simon said. 'But if you are aware of any sins that have not been forgiven, and you ask forgiveness for those sins, the Lord will remain faithful and forgive you.'

'And what if I haven't ever asked for forgiveness?'

'Then now is always a good time to.'

Justin weighed Simon's words for a moment. 'It's not that simple,' he said.

'Actually,' Simon said. 'It is.' He smiled. 'When you're ready, the Holy Spirit will convict you. Don't force it.'

Justin didn't like where the conversation was headed. He had been cornered by enough soul winners to know the signs of a coming conversion session. 'Thanks for the chat,' he said. 'I really needed it.'

'Anytime,' Simon said. 'Don't be too rough on yourself, okay?'

Justin nodded.

'In the meantime, I'll go talk to Lance.'

With that, they both re-entered the building and went their separate ways.