The Incubus

Chapter 4, Scene 13

'Becky,' Justin said and turned to face her. He had waited until they were in bed before he decided to talk to her. 'I have something to tell you.'

Oh no! Rebecca thought. I knew the dinner was too good to be true! She kept her expression as straight faced as possible. 'Yes sweetie?' she said. 'What's on your mind?'

'I don't know how or where to begin,' he said. 'I've never told anyone this before; and I even managed to somehow block it from my own memory until recently.'

'What is it, love?' she asked. Justin never was one for opening up to her, so when he did, she knew that he had something heavy to get off his chest. She stroked his hand. 'You can talk to me, baby.'

Justin took a deep breath. He managed to put this off for two months, but he wanted to tell her now and get it over with. He needed to tell her if they wanted to make headway and move forward with their lives. 'Becky, you know that girl I used to date way before I met you?'

Rebecca probed her memory. There were many girls in his past. She didn't want to make him feel guilty about it, so she didn't really want to guess. 'Um...'

'Sandra,' Justin helped her.

Oh no!  'Oh yes,' she said as if she was just about to say the name before he beat her to it. 'What about her?'

Justin wiped his hand across his face and sighed.

'You can tell me,' Rebecca encouraged. 'What about Sandra?'

'I...she fell pregnant while we were dating.'

Rebecca froze. She didn't say anything, but instead waited for Justin to go on.

'We were young.' Justin paused and searched his wife's eyes for any form of disappointment or anger. So far there were none. 'Stupid.'

'And...?' Rebecca asked.

'I couldn't handle the responsibility. I was young and stupid, and so I forced her...' Justin choked and swallowed hard. 'I forced her to have an abortion.'

Rebecca waited a moment to see if there was more to his story. When she was sure that there wasn't, she took him in her arms and held his head against her chest. 'We all do stupid things sometimes,' she whispered. She didn't know if Justin could hear her through his sobbing, but it didn't matter.

Justin pulled himself away from her. 'And now God,' he said and choked again. 'Now your God has punished us for what I have done by taking our baby.' He looked at her for a moment until the tears blurred his vision so much that all he could do was clutch onto his wife as he cried.

'Nonsense,' Rebecca said while gently stroking his hair. 'You know that's not true.'

Justin couldn't hear her anymore.

'It's fine,' she said. 'Let it all out.'

Justin twisted her shirt in his fist as he cried.

'It's going to be all right.'