The Noble War// Tate Langdon

I'm Fine Without You

Lylah POV

"No- I'm not going through this." I nearly whispered.

"Through what?" Tate asked.

"I said in not going through it Tate, not with you." I said. I stood up lightly. I lifted my hand of his slowly, but as quick as a fly, Tate grabbed it. My head snapped in his direction to meet those brown eyes.

"Go through what Lylah?" He probed some more. I ripped my hand away from his.

"This, all of this!" I yelled. "Me somehow trying to see the good in you when your just darkness that hasn't bloomed yet! You're a beacon of light one minute and a black hole the next! I'm sick of it! I'm sick of feeling the way I do about you!" I screamed. He looked taken aback by what I'd just said. His eyes trailed down to the floor slowly and he opened his mouth to say something. His lips twitched a bit as if he was trying to find the right words. Little sounds of disbelief escaped his lips before any words did.

"Do you still feel something besides hatred for me?" He asked slowly, cautiously. He snapped his head up, perhaps looking at my eyes for an answer. I fidgeted with my fingers and bit my lip a little.

He soaked in my anxious actions and stood up slowly.

"Lylah?" He asked, making me remember the question.

"Don't say that." I said.

"Say what?" He asked.

"My name. It sounds different when you say it." I said. He furrowed his eyebrows and took a step closer.

"You never answered my question." He said.

"I- I don't know what I feel." I said.

"Yes you do. Tell me." He said. He was still 17 and he always will be, but somehow he is maturing into a man. Don't get me wrong he still does childish shit, but he's learning. His word was firm and he took another step.

"I hate you Tate Langdon." I paused as his face fell. "But not a day went by that I didn't feel something for you. That I didn't feel love for you." I said. He lifted his chin and took another few steps swiftly. He lifted me off the ground and I wrapped my legs around him. My arms followed suit. He rammed me against the house wall and we attacked each other with our lips.

It had been 20 goddamn years and we were making up for what we missed out on. The sparks quickly turned into passionate flames. His head went down to my neck making me moan. The sudden sound I made brought my attention back to reality. I brought my legs down and stood up. I was still a bit shorter than him so he pulled away, his eyes full of concern as he looked down at me.

"What's wrong Ly?" He asked.

"I told you Tate, I'm not going through this again, I won't. The last time I did, I wound up dead in a fucking bathtub Tate, because of you. You killed me mother. And Kace. And- and me. And even though I'll always feel something for you, because you're my first love. The first person I've ever loved, the person I'll always love, I can't do this. You understand that right?" I said. He started to tear up and he backed away from me, nodding softly.

"I'm an idiot. I'm a complete idiot." He paused . I shook my head in response.

"No Tate-" he cut me off.

"I killed you! And I've spent the last twenty years feeling miserable because I didn't have the one thing I know I can't ever have. You. Tell me you felt horrible too Lylah. Tell me you've felt like your world was missing. Tell me this wasn't just a one sided thing." He pleaded.

I then told the biggest lie of my entire life, and it tore whatever was left of my heart out if my chest.

"I'm fine without you."