Cross My Heart // Harry Styles

4

War.ning: This chapter is kinda dark and graphic, but it has to be done, since it's part of the story. If you don't like it, just skim past the stuff.....or, just be brave! :)

Gwen's POV:

I shook as I cleaned at the end of the workday. It was my night to clean the customer bathrooms, so that was giving me worse worries and flashbacks. My brain kept trying to make the memories better...like, maybe that green eyed guy didn't see me. Or maybe he knew about all of us girls, so he wasn't shocked to see me, and he wouldn't send police because he was also a client. Though I'd never seen him before, so that was unlikely. A lot of the night clients tried mostly every girl at some point. For variety. I've learned how men are over all these years, and I don't like them at all.

I don't mind boys much though. Back in the orphanage, the little boys were fun to play with. When they weren't being too rough or hitting you, that is. But playing tag, ball, and sometimes they'd even play grocery store, and it was always fun. Especially with the silly boys. They made me laugh a lot.

But men? No thank you. They're mean, rough, abu.sive, and only want s.ex, s.ex and more s.ex. And they don't care how you feel. They just want s.ex. Men are horrible people. I don't know why women marry them. Are they crazy? They LIKE getting beaten up for every little thing? They LIKE having to put their mouths on men's pen.ises and deal with the gross stuff that comes out after they grunt? They LIKE having to spread their legs to give them s.ex whenever they feel like it?

Men are STUPID. I hate them.

Ahhh. That little man hating rant in my head was a good distraction from the fact that any second now might be my last. I wasn't afraid to die. I hoped it would happen, honestly. I was just afraid it would hurt. And would I really "go somewhere" after I'm dead, like they say? They taught us all about that stuff in the orphanage. I liked the orphanage. It's all I'd ever known...until a stupid MAN came along and took me.

*Flashback*
They said I was going to have a new home. A family. A mom and a dad. Even a dog. They were excited for me. Everyone was. They said I'd never come back, so I cried when I said goodbye to the other boys and girls. My friends. The nurses. The nuns. Everyone. They threw a party for me before I left. They gave me pictures they'd all drawn. Cards to say have a happy life. I was excited. But also very nervous. I didn't know how to have a family.

I waved goodbye to everyone as they stood in the driveway waving back to me as my new parents drove the car away. I turned around when I couldn't see them anymore, and turned around to start my new life. The dog was in the backseat with me. He was cute. He liked me. He layed on my lap the whole ride, while I pet him and kissed his furry head and talked to him. I was gonna love having a dog. This was starting out great so far.

And then soon, my new dad turned down a road in the woods, that led to a lonely house. My new mom got out, and I started to get out. She stopped me, and called our dog. He jumped out, and went towards the house. She told me "get back in!" in a mean tone of voice, so I slid my legs back into the car, and she slammed the door.

She went around to my dad's car window, and he handed her a thick stack of money. "See ya next time" she said. And then she walked towards the house with the dog already there waiting for her at the door. As she walked to the house, she tore off her entire head of hair. It had been a wig!

My dad's turned the car around and drove back down the wooded driveway and back onto the road.

I asked if we were going to the store for supplies for me.

And that was the last time I ever talked freely in my life. That was the last second of my childhood. It was the last second of life as I knew it. It was the first second of learning that having a family...a mom and a dad...was NOT a good thing. In fact, it wasn't even a thing at all. They had all lied to me, I guess so I wouldn't kick and scream when I got "adopted" by the man and the woman.