Cross My Heart // Harry Styles

73

GWEN'S POV:

When the plane touched down in London, I was relieved! I'd seen the world....I mean...a lot of it. There was still talk of a sort of continuation of the tour in the near future, because tickets would still sell out, and album sales are still really strong, and yeah....so that's a possibility. Going to all the places that didn't get any Harry Styles this time around. But I'm not even thinking about that for now.

There's about two weeks until Christmas, and we're HOME.

The second half of the tour went just as good as the first one. I face timed and called and texted everyone just like before, and kept up with Lou's relationship. It was going well, so I was still very happy for him. He told me all the things he's told her about "us", and he left out some things...I don't know if that's a good idea or not, but he says she doesn't need to know anything, because it's in the past, before he was with her, so it's not lying. I don't know what to think about that choice. I don't want it to ever get out and bite him in the ass someday and mess everything up for him, especially later on. But I promised him, and Harry promised him we'd keep any "contact" Lou and I have ever had, to ourselves. Of course, being me, I have guilt now, like I'm keeping something from HER! It's never easy, I tell you. But I wouldn't trade a single second of my life right now.

Our homecoming was wonderful, and this time, we just visited everyone, or they visited us, within the past few days. I had souvenirs for each member of my family to hand out, from different places in the world. It was a fun experience, buying stuff for people. I'd never done that before. Ever. I started when I saw something in a quaint little gift shop in New Zealand, that just....reminded me of my mum. I thought she'd love it. So I decided to buy it for her. While I paid for it, Harry came up and asked what I was doing, and I told him. He said, "Cool! Souvenirs! Are you getting something for everyone in your fam?" I was like......uh.....am I supposed to? He said yeah, if you see something they'd like, you get it for them when you're on a trip. It's what people do.

So I kept an eye out from then on, the last half of his tour, and luckily I found cool stuff for everyone, especially the kids, of course. Then he reminded me that I could wrap them as Christmas gifts, since it was coming so soon.

I haven't celebrated Christmas in, well...since I was taken at age 13. It was always a big big religious time in the orphanage, but it wasn't about getting presents, like it seems to be in the "real world", I notice.

Last Christmas was busy for Harry, and we celebrated a little bit, but we had no tree or anything. Harry regretted that, and said that day, after we opened our small gifts to each other, that he'd make the next Christmas "special as fvck."  Hehe. He's a doof. But he's MY doof.

So it's not a big thing to me, really. Harry always liked Christmas, though and he says once I experience a REAL Christmas, I'll love it. So I'm supposed to report to him on New Year's day and let him know what I think about the whole Christmas/New Year's season.

We went and picked out a tree together for the flat. He said he usually doesn't bother with trees, when he lived alone, but this year, we HAVE to have one. It was cold, and we braved the weather and picked out an already cut one, and he set it up in the back corner of the flat. Then we went to the store and picked out all sorts of decorations and lights for it. I didn't know what it should have on it, so he helped me, asking which stuff I liked. It was fun. I had to admit, even though he told me I was being a downer at first, cause I wasn't interested. It just wasn't a big part of my life before, so....I don't know!

In the middle of decorating it, Lou came home from work, and we asked him to join us. He took a quick shower, then came out in his cozy pajamas and helped us put all the crap we got, onto the tree. I had to admit again, it looked really pretty when we were done. Harry turned the lights out and turned on only the tree lights and the star at the top, and....I gasped! I hadn't expected to, but I did. It was loud, and he and Lou both laughed at me, but then they noticed how my face was lit up with happiness, so they both came over and hugged me, together. It was my first Christmas tree. We all stood there holding hands in the dark, looking at the beautiful colors that warmed the entire room. We're dorks. I know. But they hadn't realized just how special it would be for me, until that moment I'd seen it. I felt really warm and fuzzy inside, suddenly. Harry told me that's what "Christmas spirit" means.