Cross My Heart // Harry Styles

5

GWEN'S POV:

I had to snap out of my horrible memories so I could concentrate on cleaning the bathroom. I had slowed down, and I'd get in trouble if I went any slower.

I didn't even bother to look at myself in the mirrors tonight, as I'd already taken way too much time, I could tell.

I got done, and brought my cleaning supplies out, and put them away in the supply room, and got to my next chore. And then the next.

Finally, it was 11:00pm. Time for my shower.

I got in line with all the other girls, as two girls showered at a time. We wore shower caps to keep our hair dry. We brushed our hair, and lined up at the door to the cellar hall as usual. As I'd done for who knows how many years now, I didn't even know. But tonight was different. In my mind, at least. Tonight, at any second, the police could show up, and the boss could kill us all before they let anyone in to see what goes on here every night. Because of me and my mishap of being seen today.

I'd gotten used to it over time, just as Blondie said. And through whispers here and there, I'd learned that this was all illegal. And we were all kidnapped. I had learned everything I didn't know before I'd started night work. The other girls had also been "adopted" by the boss and his fake wife with her fake dog, when they were 13, 14, sometimes up to 16 or 17 or so. I didn't know how some girls knew so much. But they did. Maybe from earlier girls that were long gone, such as Blondie. I missed her. She helped me so much my first few days of night work. The "new" blondie was just as nice, but I still missed the old one from when I was younger.

Just her being in the room that first night of work, all those years ago, while the first strange man touched me everywhere, and put his pen.is everywhere, multiple times, all night, made it so much easier. The first night that she wasn't in the room anymore, I was scared to death. But I knew what to do now, so....I went through the motions. Staring at the ceiling most of the time with silent tears leaking down my face, until the men got off of me. It sucked. But it became just another chore in time. I tried to like it, like Blondie had suggested. But I just couldn't. I mean, some men were actually gentle, and that made it ok, but I never once LIKED it.

A few times, somehow though, I would suddenly have an org.asm. I didn't know why. And I hated every second of the good feeling flowing through my body when it happened. It didn't feel good, so why did it make me org.asm? I didn't understand it. Why would my body betray me like that?

It usually happened when the client would lick me down there for a long time. I guess you can't help but finally "O" from that. But sometimes, all it took was a pen.is that was really big or really long, and it would happen while they were fvcking me. They loved that, and it made them go harder and faster, which I hated, so when I'd accidentally org.asm, I'd be pi.ssed off at myself even more.

When they wanted me to touch myself for them to watch, I learned quickly how to fake it all. Because again, what I was doing wasn't feeling good, because I was being forced.

I snapped out of my thoughts and memories again. I went to an empty room, and stared at the cleaned trash bowl, and the 20 condoms in the other bowl. (The trash bowl was for condom wrappers, used condoms, and for me to....well, spit out what I wasn't supposed to be swallowing when the men made me...do that to them.)

Waiting for either another night of hell with strange men (or one of the regular men, which was mostly who we'd get.) or because I'd been spotted by a customer today, the police would come and I'd hear chaos, as the boss pulled us one at a time out of our rooms to the showers, and started cutting off our fingers and toes, slicing us all over our bodies, stabbing into us with a knife or hot poker, etc......I shuddered as I remembered the boss's description of what our deaths would be like if we ever did anything to get the police here or make someone suspicious. He said he'd replace us all after that with no problem, as we were expendable. There were always more pretty faces out there in the orphanages, he reminded us every once in a while.