《HOURGLASS》

Chapter 11

Vans parents offered for Van and I to stay the night which we said yes too. We couldn't stay in a actual room ,which I didn't really care that we couldn't, so we stayed in the basement on the couch.

It was about 2 in the morning and I had woke up a hour ago. I laid on the couch wrapped in Vans arms. Seeing him asleep was so child like in a way. After a while of failed attempts to fall back asleep I decided to go for a walk by the river behind the B&B.

I unraveled myself from Vans grasp without waking him and grabbed Vans sweatshirt. I exited the room without a sound and back my way over to the river. A little ways down the river was a dock so I decided to go over their for a bit.

I sat down at the end of the dock ignoring the cold weather that was even colder because of the water. I sat their for a bit and eventually I zoned out. I didn't pay attention for so long that I didn't notice Bernie sit down beside me till he spoke up.

"So you've fallen for my son haven't ya?" I jumped and looked over at him to which he laughed "sorry about that but you have, haven't ya?"

I nodded at his comment blushing "yes...Yes I have although I promised myself I wouldn't"

I said the last little phrase as more of a mumble in hopes he didn't hear what I said.

"Why did you promise yourself that?love is such an amazing thing that in some way can be so rare" I looked at Bernie and his expression had so much confusion I knew I now had to tell him.

I gave a sigh and looked back towards the river.

"My parents are why..they really don't care what I do or me really, I-I've never felt loved or felt wanted so I promised myself I wouldn't but I did anyhow and boy do I love him...I love everything about him..his smile, the way he says my name, his eyes, when he wakes up in the morning and has that sleepy look on his face, but mostly his soul and personality but I envy him some" I could tell Bernie was looking at me but I didn't look back.

I wasn't going to cry but to look at him I knew I would.

"Why dear? Why do you envy him?" He asked and once he did I felt myself get the shakes that I get when I start becoming upset.

"I envy him because of you and Mary, you both love and care for Van so much and my parents don't and never really have...they think I went to a friend's house Friday night and I decided to stay tonight as well and I called my dad and he was more annoyed that I called him than caring I was staying and then said just to stay till Monday afternoon then hung up without a bye, without a I love you"

Tears rolled down my cheek but I ignored them. I felt so hurt that I couldn't possibly attend to my fears.

"Oh dear don't be upset" Bernie slung his arm around my shoulder "you have a family okay? Mary and I even Larry and Vans band, we're all family.. we all care and love you even if you've only been around for less than 24 hours because that's how we are ya know? I'm sure how Van talks about you that your gonna be my daughter in law and I'm sure of it okay? Family isn't always blood, it's who cared and accepts you the most"

I finally looked at him and smiled. He was already smiling and I could tell in some very odd sorta way that he was a father figure sorta to me. He comforted me even though he didnt really know me.

"Thank you Bernie" I whispered still smiling at him.

"No problem dear I'm glad I could help"

We talked for a while more till about 4 o'clock then I decided to head back to the basement/ garage type of thing. I said goodnight to Bernie and then headed back inside. Van still laid there asleep wrapped in a blanket. I stripped of almost all of my clothes then went over to Van.

I lifted the blanket and very carefully climbed beside Van. I put the blanket back down and again carefully got comfortable. I laid against him with the front part of my body against his. I took my leg and put it across his body and snuggled against him. I breathed in the smell of tea, mint, ciggies, and the very faint smell of booze that lingered on him and felt at home.

I thought about Bernie's words and the more I thought about it the more I realized he was right.

I have a family ,that although may not be blood, loves me all the same...