《HOURGLASS》

Chapter 40

     Waking up the next morning guilt hit me like a bus going 80. I got up and put on one of my oversized shirts. I left the room leaving a naked Bob to continue sleeping. I went into kitchen deciding to make some tea. As I did so my phone rang and the caller ID read "Arabella". I smiled needing to hear my best friends voice. I immediately  answered the phone.

   "Hello my Egyptian goddess" I spoke into the phone putting a kettle on.

   "Hello to you too" she giggled "what's up?" She asked me.

    Should I tell her? It would make me feel a little better.

   " oh god..I need to tell you something stupid I did and you can't tell a single soul I told you because it's bad"

  "What happened?!?!"  She asked and I sighed telling her everything.

  "Do you like him?" She asked me and I shook my head no before realizing she couldn't see me.

   "No I don't and I'm being honest I have no feelings for him but my emotions I can't handle if I dont have Van around...I go crazy and do stupid things and I can't just tell Van he'd leave me and Charlie" I leaned against the counter feeling defeated in life and just wanting to die.

   "Well you need to tell Bob he can't be over when you're upset alright? Why don't you come over to my Mums tommorrow and will talk more,okay?"

  "Okay"

   We got off the phone and finished making my tea. As I did so I felt two arms wrap around my waist and put their head on my shoulder. The unfamiliarity of it I knew it was Bob.

   "I know we shouldn't have done that so we need to forget it like it never happened" Bob softly said and I nodded in agreement.

   "It would be for the best" I agreed stirring my tea.

     He planted a few shy kisses on my shoulder before he turned me around to look at him. He was already fully dressed so he had to have been up for a bit. I looked him in the eye seeing a guy who posses some shyness but at times surprises himself at his confidence. He put a soft and gentle kiss on my lips. Our lips moved in rythm very soft and slow. He pulled away then gave me a kiss on my forehead.

   "Goodbye.." He breathed out heading to the door.

   "Goodbye..." I softly called back.

   The rest of the day I was in a funk. I just watched TV and ate ice cream. Soon my phone started tuning amd I new it was Van. I picked it up and swiped the green.

   "Hello?" I spoke into the phone as I played with the ends of my PJ's.

   "What's up Babe?" He asked me sounding to be in a decent mood.

   "Nothing really just watching TV and missing you" I told him honestly keeping the guilt in the back of my mind.

   We talked for a while more then he said something surprising me "Benji told me something earlier"

    My heart started beating out of my chest as my mind raced "yeah? What did he tell you?" I asked him sitting up.

    Van sighed a sad sigh into the phone "I know what happened between you and Bob a couple months ago and last night...Bob told Benji who in which told me...I'm very fucking pissed at the both of you...I just..why?..am I not good enough?"

   I knew Van was crying right at that moment. His words were shaky and his voice was cracking a bit. I then started crying.

   "No..I-I just don't think V-Van...I don't know what came over me..I hate my self so much I-I wanna die just not to feel the pain and guilt..I'm so fucking sorry and I fucking love you..Please forgive me Van" I cried as I heard him crying too.

   "I don't know Lyla..I love you...Will talk about this when when I get back"

   The line went silent and I realized he had hung up. I began weeping and full on bawling my eyes out. I needed to see him.

~

   "Thank you for flying American Airlines enjoy your stay in Los Angeles" the flight attendant said as everyone grabbed their bags from the overhead.

   After I cried for about two hours last night I booked a first flight here that left at two in the morning. I was glad last night that I had decided after holiday to get my passport just incase I went with the lads.

   I quickly left to the front entrance of the airport where my Uber driver sat. I got in meeting this grumpy,old, rich man sitting in the seat. I got in the back only having my carryon with me. I gave him the address and we were off. I used Bondy's A+ uber tip and "developed" a irritating cough.

   Once we arrived and I did what I needed to then I walked to the front of the house. It was absolutely beautiful with palm trees all around with the Spain look it gave off.

    I knocked on the front door. Nerves rattled through me and the sound of footsteps walking to the door made me nauseous. The door opened to reveal Van. His hair was everywhere, only in boxers, and looked like he hadn't slept. Once he realized it was me he looked confused or shocked, I couldn't tell.

  "What are you doing here?" He asked me and I felt on the verge of tears.

   Well I thought the verge of tears but they were already falling.

   "I got the first flight here...I-I needed to see you" I looked up at him wiping the tears on my face as his face softened looking at mine "I can't handle my emotions when I don't have you...I can't fucking function without you and I fucking hate it! I hate not being able to think straight or work properly because I love you so god damn much and then I do stupid shit not being able to control myself..Fuck knows why I did that...FUCK!"

    I was all but yelling until the last word. Tears stained my cheeks so much that I got a awful headache instantly. Van just stood their not saying anything. I wanted to just die. I wanted to just jump off of a bridge.

   "You hate me now and you're just gonna leave me so I'll just go"