Querencia

18

Eunjae wasn't exactly sure why he was feeling so upset. After all, it had been a long time, and, despite the immense pain that the rejection had caused him, his feelings for Jeonghan had faded away long ago. Sure, it had been burned into his mind, causing him quite a few problems every time he found himself developing feelings for other boys, but, as Woozi had pointed out, he 'had' Minghao now. So surely he wasn't still interested in Jeonghan?  

But the knowledge that Joshua had been involved with Jeonghan while Eunjae was still heartbroken over liking the boy, who said he was straight, caused sharp pangs of fury to cascade through his bloodstream. 

Thinking back on his many breakdowns that Joshua had witnessed, now knowing that even moments before, Joshua could have been laughing with the very boy that Eunjae was crying over, made the memories bitter and disgusting. Joshua had hugged him with the same hands that had probably -

No, Eunjae didn't want to think about that. 

He could understand Joshua not telling him at first, but after all this time? That's what bothered Eunjae the most. His very best friend, the one who was constantly saving him from Woozi's jokes, and was always on his side, had betrayed him, lied to him, kept something important from him. 

All those times Joshua was out, he had most likely been with Jeonghan. All this time, why didn't Joshua just tell him? Sure, he may have been upset for a day or so, but it would have been much better than finding out this way. No, this way, Eunjae was, quite honestly, pissed off and very hurt. 

He avoided thinking about Minghao, swallowing back the guilt, reasoning that he was not upset about Jeonghan, but about Joshua's actions. His best friend, who had been sneaking around for nearly a year now. Was he supposed to be happy about that? Even if he was, he refused.

Woozi was silent as Eunjae thought through everything, staring at him nervously. He was surprised that Eunjae hadn't questioned him about it sooner, if he was honest. He was glad that he hadn't accidentally blurted it out before. But still, it made him uneasy, knowing that Eunjae knew. It made him uncomfortable, seeing Eunjae sitting there, seemingly calm; he knew better than that. If life was a cartoon, Eunjae would be steaming right now. He could almost picture the heat waves coming off the tall boy, the controlled anger in his eyes as he set his lips in annoyance. 

Eunjae could feel Woozi's eyes on him, and it only irritated him more. It felt like Woozi was eyeing him, as if he was some beast that was about to jump at him. Well, he would be, if Woozi didn't stop staring. 

Eunjae stood up abruptly, walking out the door without a word. The only sound he made as he left was the brisk slamming of the door behind him. 

He just needed to walk, and think things through a little more. Sure, it would be okay after some time, but right now Eunjae could hardly see himself being friendly with Joshua. 

He passed by a couple students that he knew, but they were all smart enough to leave him alone. Eunjae guessed that the look on his face was enough to keep people at a distance, and he was satisfied with that. It meant that he wouldn't be interrupted. At this point, he was scared that he'd yell at anyone who got close to him.

He found himself walking up the steps, retracing the steps he had taken following Joshua earlier. He rounded the corner slowly, standing still at the end of the hallway as he stared at the door, mentally setting it on fire with his eyes. 

As if the world wanted him to suffer even more, the door opened, and Joshua stepped out, smiling widely as Jeonghan blew a kiss to him as he backed away.

The smile soon fell, as Joshua noticed Eunjae. His mouth opened, as if he was going to say something, but he quickly closed it, glancing back at Jeonghan, who didn't understand. He stared between the two, feeling torn as he realized that he was caught. 

Jeonghan was confused; he didn't recognize Eunjae. Eunjae wasn't surprised, as he had grown a fair amount in the past year, and he liked to think he had matured quite a bit since his awkward phase. He hadn't exactly outgrown the awkward part, but he was working on it.

"Eunjae, I.." Joshua took a step forward, and Eunjae could see the way his face pulled up in regret as he locked eyes with him.

It was too late for explanations, as Eunjae had already found out about everything.

Eunjae shook his head in disappointment, and Joshua's shoulders slumped as he watched his friend walk away from him.