Querencia

68

Eunjae's confession had not gone the way he had expected, with Minghao kicking him under the table after he sat down, and forcefully whispering, "you idiot, what did you do?" 

However, he didn't regret it. Well, maybe a little bit, but mostly, Eunjae felt a little relieved. Sure, this meant that his once greatest fears could happen, being scorned and harassed for being gay, they weren't the scariest thing to him anymore. No, losing Minghao was the worst punishment he could think of, and he felt that he had avoided it - for now.

The rest of the day was filled with awkward stares and hushed comments, as it seemed that Eunjae's announcement hadn't fully sunk in yet. After all that, Eunjae wanted nothing more than a peaceful night with Minghao, to help ease his upset stomach, as worried nerves circled his stomach like bile. He still wasn't quite ready to be open, but it was too late now. Besides, their flight was tomorrow, and Eunjae wanted to take advantage of their last private night together.

Luckily, Minghao's hand didn't seem to move from Eunjae's arm, and Eunjae really appreciated the comforting touch. Even now, as they lay in bed, Eunjae could feel the affectionate hand gently rubbing his bicep, and he turned to Minghao with a small smile.

"Are you happy?" 

Minghao pursed his lips, "no. You didn't want that."

Eunjae frowned, "I did it myself. I'm still scared, but I want to make you happy, and I want you to be mine." 

A smile erupted, as much as Minghao tried to resist. The small boy was conflicted; he loved that Eunjae had done that, since he knew it was partially for him, but he also felt terrible, as he couldn't help but think that Eunjae had rushed into this. He obviously wasn't entirely happy, as Minghao could tell by his tense posture and clenched hands. Still, it was Eunjae's decision, and they couldn't exactly play it off as a joke.

"I don't want you with anyone else. I want to be together, and I know this is what it takes. Now we can be boyfriends in public," Eunjae swallowed the lump in his throat, trying to be brave, even though the thought still terrified him.

"Not boyfriends," Minghao mumbled, and Eunjae recognized the tone - Minghao always sounded like that when he was being difficult.

"Are you saying I need to ask you out?" Eunjae laughed, and Minghao gave him a playful glare. 

"Fine. Minghao, will you go out with me?"

"No."

Eunjae wheezed, rolling on his side to look at his lover in feigned annoyance.

"Oh really? Then why am I here? Should I go talk to someone else," Eunjae considered mentioning Hoshi, just to annoy Minghao, but he didn't want to go that far. After all, Minghao didn't mention Jun to annoy Eunjae. "Maybe somebody outside will appreciate me-"

"Yah! Eunjae, don't you dare." 

Eunjae was about to complain about Minghao's informal speech, until he remembered that the smaller boy was, in fact, older than him. "You're really making me work for this, huh?"

Minghao nodded, and Eunjae laughed, imagining the things Minghao would be saying if he was fluent in Korean, or Eunjae in Chinese. Something along the lines of, damn right, you better work your ass off to get me, Eunjae imagined. 

"I'm learning chinese for you, and you won't date me? Minghao," Eunjae moved closer,  almost enjoying this interaction as much as the small boy next to him, who was suppressing giggles. "I thought you wanted to be open. What are we being open about, that we're friends? You know, I don't like being taken advantage of, if you're just using me for my body, that's very offensive-"