Messed up...for Life

Cloudy Day

Emily P.O.V.
Dream: "Emily come down your birthday gift is here!" Called dad. I ran down stairs excited ready to see my gift. Dad has a gun, Clay the camera, Jurat a blade...." It's time" dad said to me, I looked at mom and Elena so see them bleeding dad had shoot them~
"Kill him, kill him" cheered the crowd. I looked around to see I was surrounded by people I didn't know. People that knew the gang... I grab the knife and threw it so it hit his heart and he fell lifelessly. I go to him grab his wrist and carved my name in his wrist.... I'm a killer! ~
I just got home and he is hurting me... He slipped his hand through the my shirt and touched "S-stop! Stop please stop dad please" he smirked as he took my pants off and his as well..." No..No stop no~~"
End of Dream
I woke up yelling. I knew it I shouldn't sleep it will always end like this. I look around and see that I was in Ty's house. I sigh and stood up going to the closet to get clothes and my blade. Yes I have clothes here it's not the first time I stay here. I go to the bathroom and turn on the burning hot water..I like feeling the hot burn my skin sometimes even open it. I get in the shower and flinched. I then sit in the edge of the tub and cut my wrist till all I could see was blood... I deserve it, I tell myself. I put my wrist under the water and see the blood go down the drain. I finish taking my shower and then got dressed, I put on a black undershirt, some black skinny jeans and my chain and belts, I then get my gun and its holster and put it in my belt. I went into Ty's room to get the hairdryer. I was looking around his beauty table for the hair dryer until I felt presence beside me. I turn to see Ty and said "Good morning sleepy beauty" "Let me see your wrist" he ordered. "Umm....No why?" I ask dumbly "Your cuts let me see.." "No there fine thanks though..." "When you got out the shower I went in to see this full of blood and your going to tell me it's ok? For reals Emily? Let me see them from close since by the way you didn't cover them and you didn't cover your shoulders there bleeding from the hot water. Let me see " he reached out for my wrist but I pulled away "No let me go" I said as he grabbed it again and this time hold it with a tight grip. "What The Hell Emily!! This cuts are at least 1-2 inches deep." "Let go!" I said still fighting to release my wrist. I finally gave up it is useless he's 22  years old and in a very fit and I'm 13, fit but not as much. "Look at me Emily" he says calmly but I don't look up. He then pulls my chin up to his eye level with his other hand but I refuse to look at him in the eyes I failed him and I knew it. I wanted to cry so much but I couldn't...I wasn't a crybaby! " Look at me Emily" he said raising his voice a bit. I bite my lip and look at him. "This isn't right Emily, you can't continue doing this, it hurts me to see you like this....to see you looking at yourself in the mirror and telling yourself your ugly, fat and useless because your not, it hurts to see you cut and not even attempted to come to me, it hurts to see you starving and then forcing yourself to throw up the rare times that you eat, to see you wanting to cry but you telling yourself your not a cry baby...It hurts please stop... I don't know who you are looking at in the mirror or who your talking to when you see yourself in the mirror....But it's not you Emily you are worth so much more than you think. I love you as a friend and you know it but you say you don't believe in love then I care for you to much to give up on you.... your strong and your brave you have proved it." I looked down but only to be told to look at him. I can't he doesn't pressure me but he hugs me and I start crying and sobbing. He rubs my back and tells me I'm strong and that he believes in me but he can't be right everyone else tell me that i'm weak, fat, a pig, useless, etc. We stay like this for 10 minutes then he says " Let me wrap this up." He pulled me aside and takes the first aid kit out of one of the doors on the beauty table. He puts alcohol then wraps it. ''Thank you" I mumble. I look at my phone to see that it's barely 5 am. "Are you planning on going somewhere?" Ty asks "Yea it looks like a pretty day it's cloudy, I'm going to get something to eat so that the gang can join in when they wake up." Ok was all he said. I then touch my hair, it's almost dry. I guess today is a day that I don't straighten my hair is naturally wavy. I when back to the room and brush my hair, and my teeth, I was about to go out when i came back into the room for my cigs. I'm on my way to McDonald's.