Messed up...for Life

Dealing with emotions.

Comment on why i put the picture, what it means in the story!  

Ed's POV

"Good Morning." I say as I enter the kitchen in my Batman Pj's. "Morning." Everyone says as I sit down. "Want to eat?" Asks Alex and shake my head no. "No thanks i'm good" I mumble and look up at them. "Em didn't come down for breakfast again?" Asks Matt catching my attention. "Nope. Just give her time to even come out of her room." "Why should they?" I hear a voice behind me. Not looking back i knew it was Em. "Because you usually like to be alone and think about stuff after you do things you regret." I say. "True. But this time I do not regret it. Where is Fla?" She asks. "He went out to his job to say he wasn't going to go and to pick up some stuff and then he said he would be going to the mall to get a new tattoo.." I say and i can feel her come closer making me look back. "I'mma go to the mall later on today as well. I got to go get some stuff and then i'll be back. Yea?" She says looking at me straight in the eyes. She wasn't lying but she was in pain and was suicidal and determined to do something. I slowly nod and she look back to the rest. " Anyone want to tag along?" She asks. "Evan and I will but can you give us a few mins to get flawless?" Matt says and she chuckles as she nods. "Go ahead i'mma be outside and get some stuff ready." "Need help?" I ask and she shakes her head no. "Not really but it would really be a great help if you ate some." She says. "I'll eat under the condition that you give me a hug." "Okay..." she mumbles. I stand up to hug her she flinches at first but then i'm able to hug her. I feel her slowly melting in my arms. I hear a soft sob. "It's okay. Come on calm down. It's all going to be okay." i whisper in her ear softly. I feel my shirt starting to soak a bit in my neck. I rub her back a bit making sure not to hurt her. We stay in this position with Brandon and the rest looking at us with helplessness well written across their face. Matt and Evan come back down and see me hugging her. They joined the hug making Em jump. "Hey hey calm down little one" Matt says and she calms down. "We should go" she mumbles and wipes her eyes making sure not to take the waterproof makeup off, i nod and sit back down to a plate of green beans with egg in font of me along with bacon, a toasted bread and juice. Em steals a bacon and walks out. "Later" Matt yells from the door and they all walk outside. I huff. "Everything okay?" asks Alex, I nod "Yea, i'm just stuck with eating breakfast now." I say and stare at the food. "eat some then i'll help you with what you don't want" says Ty catching my attention. I nod. I slowly start eating, I eat half they scoot it towards Ty. He nods and eats the rest without a problem. I stand up to go to the 'bathroom'. "Edwin get back here. You are not allowed to throw up." Brandon says stopping me and i let out a frustrated groan. "Please" I plead. "No." He says sternly and i huff and whine as i make my way into the leaving room. 

Em's P.O.V.

 "Hey there Em! Long time no see! You here to practice?" Paul says. "Yea I guess you can say so. Just came here to burn off some recent feelings. I'm not in the mood to teach right now." I say and he nods, "well the gym is yours." he says. "I hope you guys like to exercise." I say to Matt and Evan. "Exercise? I thought we where going to the mall." Evan says in a panic. "I said later. Beside you guys teach music and dance not like you guys didn't do exercise." I say as I put my wrists band that protect my wrist and knuckles. I grab a jump rope. "Come on guys. Or you guys can sit in the corner of the gym and watch. There are clothes and gloves in the equipment room if you guys wanna join." I say and they both go for the seats i chuckle and start with the jump rope. I make sure to do 100 before going to do 6 rounds of 40 push ups and 30 sit ups; going back to jump rope and then do 5 rounds of 20 bur-pees and 30 v-ups then back to 50 jump ropes then 120 jump ropes then 4 rounds of 30 spider-mans and then 40 air squads then back to jump rope and plank and squad holds.Once done I start punching and kicking the bag i was in. I was making combinations of hooks, straight and uppercuts and with different kinds of kicks. "Wooo! Look at you! I see you haven't lost that body of yours man." I hear but do not stop as i was to concentrated in my work or art. I knew it was just Mike. After like 30 minutes of Mike looking at me he decides to joins me in the bag that was right next to mine.  I try to ignore him and continue what i was doing. I was going in the rhythmic of the rock music that was playing. After what seems like in eternity i feel someones presence behind me as i rest my head in the punching bag and let a few tears out. Who ever was that reached to me i flinched out of. "Hey calm down little one." I hear a voice say. I recognize that voice it belongs to Evan. I wipe my tears and slowly turn around where awaiting arms where. He hugs me tightly making sure not to hurt me. I rest my head in his chest as i let a few tears roll. Mike had left a while ago.  Nobody was in the gym. It was just us and Paul. After a moment to silence Matt rest a hand in Evans shoulder. "We should go. Its already 2 pm. We have been here for hours." He says and i nod. "yea we should go ahead and go." I murmur but i don't let go of Evans hold and he don't let go of me. I think he might of need this hug as much as i did. I don't move i don't pressure him. I stay still into his hug enjoying the warmth i feel in my fast beating heart. "Evan we should go now love." Matt tells Evan who now lets go slowly. I don't let go, i feel the warmth i don't wanna let go. I wanna stay under the safety i feel but i don't say anything instead i slowly move back as well. I look down. "hey it's okay. We can talk once we are home and in walls where no one will judge in okay?" Evan says as he makes me look up at him. I nod slightly not thinking i would be in anyone's arms in a while. I put away the rope and my wrist band then i sign out before we make out way out to the Jeep. 

We silently ride to the mall but half way on the way to the mall I go to the side of the road and rest my head in the steering wheel. "What the matter?" Asks Evan and rests his hand in my head. "Just dizzy and my vision got blurry. Pain is bad but i will survive. No worries." I mumble and he moves his hand. "Sit up would you?" He orders and i do as told as my eyes get cloudy in clear pain. I feel his hand in my forehead. "Em you have a fever, and not an easy one. I think we should go home." He says but i shake my head no. "I'm fine." I mumble and look back at the road as i go back to driving. After 20 minutes of cautious driving we get to the mall.  "are you sure you don't wanna be home? I see you are getting more pale and you seems off..." Says Matt. I shake my head. "I deserve the pain." I say before getting off the jeep before they said anything. I don't wait for them. I keep walking til i get to the front still not stopping but being chased by Evan and Matt who where running behind me. "Sky stop right there?!" Matt yells. I don't stop. "Skyden I told you to stop." Matt says catching up to me and grabbing my elbow not tight. "Listen. I think we should go home. It is clear you are not okay. And no you do not deserve the pain, so we are going to go home understood?" Matt orders. "I don't wanna go home." I say barely above a whisper. "Why?" Evan asks. "Memories will get to me again. Please understand." I say this time a little more confident. "We won't let that happen but you need rest. Yes?" Matt assures. I look down. "Em you will be okay we won't let you get to your mind. We care to much okay, but we need you to open up. Please lets go home." Evan says. I am to say no but before i am able to stop myself again. I say "okay". They nod and we walk towards the Jeep again. I was to go in the drivers but Matt orders me to go to the back seat. I don't argue. I do as told as he drives us home. I zone of on our way home.

"Sky! Skyden!" I hear someone call me as i'm shaken awake. "What?" i mumble. "Oh god you scared me. You left this world for a moment. You where i don't know where, but you wouldn't answer." I hear but then noticed something, It was't Evan nor Matt. It is Flamingo. I look around and see we are at the house already. I frown, that was fast. I try to get down but i am stopped by Fla. "I heard you weren't feeling well whats up." Fla asks. "Nothing just dizzy and a fever that's all, nothing big." i say. He looks behind me, to the seat and huffs. "nothing big. Emily both you and i know that fevers, dizziness, tiredness, throwing up are not good signs at all. You should got to the aquarium and let him check on you." He says doesn't look at me. "That is not going to happen." I say and he nods. "Okay then promise you will sleep some. If you want i can cuddle you in your sleep that way you can sleep peacefully." He says and i look down mumbling nonsense. "What?" He asks looking at me like if i was insane. "Nothing." I huff and i hear the rest chuckling. "You never mumble nonsense therefore you are sick or something." he says and he chuckles. I pout and try to get off only for him to carry me. "Let me go! I can walk!" I say but he just shakes his head and walks me to my room. He lays me down and takes my boots off then lays down next to me. "Now sleep Mr. Tantrum" he says and i pout. he cant resist my pouts. He around the room and i notice they hadn't followed us. He looks back to me and bites my pout, i chuckle and he kisses my cheek, he then looks at the door and back at me, he kisses my lips softly, i kiss back he only deepens the kiss. After a few minutes he starts sliding his hand on my sides. I stop him. "No, I have a girlfriend. A kiss is a kiss nothing more. You deserve better than me." I say and he makes me rest my head in his chest. "I know. I'm sorry." he says and i hear his voice crack. I look up. I kiss him and then rest my head on his beating heart. "Don't cry. I'm sorry" i say. "Its not your fault little one its mine. After all i have no one." he says. I hit his chest. "Hey what was that for?" he grumbles rubbing his chest. "You have us! We care and lo- will always like to be with you!" I say and rest my head in his chest. "Okay fine. Go to sleep now you are burning in fever and i can tell you are not okay." he says and i nod without arguing. "Why where you going to go to the mall earlier?" He asks as i start drifting off. "Just needed to check some stuff." I say as i slowly sleep. I feel him wrap his arm around me as he drifts off as well. I guess i was wrong when i thought i was not gonna be in anyone's arms in a while.