Messed up...for Life

Trans..

Emily's P.O.V.

 "Em! What happened? Is everything okay? Who are the people downstairs?" Matt asked. "Calm down everything is under control. They where a few gang members that came to clean up and take the body. You guys should sleep you have to work later on today right?" I ask. Evan shakes his head no. "I think we are going to call in sick. Angela is feeling sick and we are all tired." He says. I nod. "Why is she feeling sick?" I ask already knowing the answer. "Because you killed someone." Matt says like it was nothing. "Yea she hates me being gangster and a killer. Alex was scared as well. I had to leave the gun in the other side of the room." I say with guilt and sadness in my voice. "Your not a killer you did it for self defense and Alex is scared but it was an at the moment thing. I promise." says Matt. "No. it wasn't self defense he made no movements on hurting me.... but he hurt Alex and Brandon. I wasn't thinking. It might had been an at the moment thing but I won't forget about that guy it will hunt me down like any other person I have killed." I said. I cover my face with my hands and hold back tears. "You guys can go downstairs already. I'm going to be in my room." I said and exit Evan's room. I walk to my room and go directly to the bathroom. I turn on the burning hot water and grab my blade. I step in the shower and hiss. I hear a knock on the bathroom door. "Hey, Em are you okay? Don't hurt yourself please." I hear Matt's voice. I don't answer. I grab the blade and lash my arms more I see the blood washing away like the emptiness inside me. I let my tears flow. I jump when I hear a sob come out of me. "Em please. Open Up." I hear Matt. I bite my lower lip to prevent any sound from coming out of my mouth. I continue cutting and my vision gets blurry. I stand up holding into the wall. I get under the water. "Em! Open Up Now! " I now hear Zaylian strict voice. I thought he had left. I guess Ed called him. "N-No" I say barely audible. "Em open the door now or I will open it!" He yells. I ignore him and continue my shower still holding on to the wall. He still yelling for me to open the door. I turn off the shower and get out slowly using the sink to hold on to as I change. I hear the door knob move. I unlock it and Zaylian comes to me and pushes me to the wall and closes the door. "Let me see." He orders but I make no attempt on moving i feel like i'm on the clouds. My eyes start closing. "Em. Come on man. Talk to me. Move." I loose my strength and he catches me. I black out.

I wake up with a blurry vision. I move my hand and I hear a voice. I can't locate where the voice is coming from and who it belongs to. "Em! Come on man. Talk to me." The voice gets clear and I find out it belongs to Zaylian. I look at him and he looks at me. "I'm o-okay..." I whisper. "No you are not." I hear another voice it belongs to Alex. I look to my left and see him. "I am. Sorry" I say and try to sit up but Zaylian stops me. "Don't your still weak." "How long have I been off?" I ask. "A few minutes." He answers. I sit up. "Oh and i'm okay." I say. I stand up and head to the bathroom. "Don't lock the door." I hear Matt say. "Sure enough." I mumble. I wash my hands and face before going back out. I look at what I'm wearing in my body mirror. My eyes go to my chest. I sigh. "Do I still have to go to your office?" I ask Zaylian not looking at him. "I don't know Em. I don't think you are in condition to leave the house today." He says and I look at him like he is insane. "What?" he asks. "So you are planning on making me stay home all day? You are very crazy." I say. "You are staying home. You need rest." He says. "You can stay home. I'm not. you can't stop me either. I got things to do."  I say. "Oh really what's so important that you can't take a day off? huh?" he asks. I walk up to him. "I have a job and 2 people to take care off. Today is Crystal and I anniversary so we are going out." I say. "I don't think Crystal will mind going out tomorrow and not tonight." He says. "Zaylian. Can't you get it? I'm going out. I'll go insane if I stay indoors all day. You can ask Ed which by the way is injured. I'm not. He's staying here not me." I say. "I'm not going to win this right?" He asks. "Nope." I say popping the 'p'. "Fine you are going out as long as I know where you are going to be." Her says. "I'm going to go to UFC gym then I'll go out with Crystal." I say like it was nothing. "GYM? In this condition? What the hell Em! Hell no you are not going to the gym!" He yells. "Hey calm down don't panic. I'm not going to do nothing i'm just going to go get some stuff I need. Then out I go. Jeez." I say. "I'd believe that if I didn't know you." He says. "Fuck it man then don't believe me. I'm actually think on not even going to the gym no more for today." I say annoyed. "Yeap I would so like that!" He yells drastically. I huff. "I'm going to get ready to take Crystal out early then." I say and text her to come over in 10 minutes. She texts back okay. "Okay. I will be leaving. I need to be at the office soon so bye take care don't do anything I wouldn't. They have my number in case you do something stupid. I'l watching you." He says as he walks to my room door moving 2 fingers from his eyes to me then again and again. I huff. "Yes mother. I don't think my mom would had put any dam limits on me. Jeez man." I say annoyed as hell and he chuckle. "I'll see you later Skyden." He says and walks out. Alex and the rest look at me. "We will be downstairs." Brandon says. I nod. I go into my closet and take out the red sleeveless T-shit I am going to wear.