Messed up...for Life

I am...

Alex P.O.V.

"I came up with a decision." Em says to Ed and Fla. "Really? What is that?" Fla asks. "I am... I am going to leave for a few days, I will eventually be back though I just need some time alone. You guys are staying here." Em says. "Where are you going?" asks Evan. I look at him then at Em. "I'm going home. I need time alone, something I won't be getting here." She answers. "Why are you leaving? Shouldn't it be me?" I ask. She looks at me with clear hater. Then says "It probably should be you but you won't leave. You have a family here... I don't. I shouldn't have come here to start with. I knew happy family didn't exist but I was still blind enough to come. Knowing the peace was temporary." "I am sorry Emily. I lost control and I was under the influence of alcohol" I say. "It doesn't matter I don't think there is ever a valid reason to hit someone. I don't care if you were on alcohol or mad. I don't care to trust me, I don't." She says and looks at Fla. "Fla I need to you look after everyone while I'm gone. Keep them safe" She says and Fla nods."Sure, I will without a thought for you I would, for them I'm not," Fla responses and Em nods. "Ed. Please stay out of trouble. I'm going to leave the Jeep here so that you can move around. Imma leave in the motorcycle. Imma go home for like a week or so, i need some time." She says and Ed says "I will, as long as you promise to stay alive." She nods. "I do plan to come back." She says and looks down. "Does Crystal know?" Angela asks. She nod. "She's coming with me" she says and Fla protests. "Why the hell is she going? She's going to get you both killed?!" "She won't let me go alone at all" she says "She has a kid to look after" Ed says. "Jacob won't be hurt and neither will Crystal, I better die before either one gets hurt." She says and looks at her ringing phone. All she does is hum to the phone. "Imma leave later on today, why?" she asks worryingly to the person on the other side of the phone. "No, don't do that come on man please you have kids. Ple-" We all hear a gunshot from the other side of the phone. Em stays silent and leans her head back taking a deep breath. She hangs up the phone. After a long pause Fla asks "who was it?" Em takes time to answer. "Star" she mumbles. Fla rest his head in his hands. "Why?" Fla asks. "His husband cheated on him after finding out that Star was back to drugs" She says and looks through her phone calling someone else. "It was Star, he dead Ty" she says and nods before hanging up. Instantly getting a call "What?" she answers. "What why?!" she yells to the phone. "Fine... I'll see what I'll do then" she says and hangs up, her eyes grew a bit of yellow. "What now?" Ed asks. Em looks at us then at him. "I'm not leaving. Blake wants me to stay here and figure life out even if it involves beatings" she says looking down. "Why would you receive a beating if you stayed?" asked Fla. "Because Alex's dad was the one that put it out there. Its either Alex dad dies or i get beatings not only because of what Alex dad said but also because I pushed Alex off when he was trying to hold my arm." She says and i feel a hard hit in my chest. That's when i realized how much she truthfully cares about us and how much she is willing to do for us even if it's killing her. "So you're going to prefer beating rather than killing Alex dad?" Fla says to himself and Em. "Yea..." Em says barely audible. "Why?" I ask. Em looks at me. "Why what?" She asks. "Why do you care so much? You weren't going to leave because you were mad at me but because you wanted to avoid the beatings. If you were to be mad at me you wouldn't talk to me." I say. "I care because i made the stupid mistake of opening 1% of my feelings to you all, i care so fucking much because no matter what you  guys are my fucking family, i fucking care because even when you guys hurt me the most... i need to get myself straight and make decisions, I care because i consider you guys my family now. That is why i didn't want to open up since the beginning and now that i did i am just going to close up because i'm not willing to be hurt like i am hurting again" she says looking at me straight in the eyes. I nod and say "I'm sorry". She looks down in disbelieve. "Where are you going?" Ed asks. "I'm go visit Blake" She says and walks out the house. Fla looks down. "Are you okay bro?" Ed asks him. "Yea, but there will be lots of changes and Star is now dead... our support place is slowly vanishing away. Last week Ethan this week Star who's next?" Fla says and Ty look at him "What happened to Ethan?" Ty asks. "Em will talk to you later about it. When are you guys going back to school?" Fla answers. "On Monday," Ty says and looks down. "Imma go to the skating rink" Ed says standing up. "I need something to do." Ed says and Fla nods, "Imma get to work" he says and they both stand up. Ed gets his skateboard and Fla followed Ed out the door.

I stand from the couch and head to my room, I could feel Matt following behind. Once in the room, i sit down in the bed. Matt comes to sit on my legs placing his legs on both sides of my waist. "Love, I really messed up. I shouldn't have ever hit her, that's what convinced them on coming to Houston with us and it's the first promise I broke to her." "Him. He's him not a her and yes you messed up but he forgave you. He is just trying his best to stay alive and pull through life you know. He hides a lot but it is true now that I was analyzing, he did open up to us but we are making it hard for him" Matt says and I nod. I pull him into a deep kiss. He kisses back as my hands roam his body, his moans turn me on more.

**Smut warning** (Skip if you want to **Smut over**)

I stand up with him in my arms laying him down in his back be hovering him as i remove my shirt. I kiss him deeply and passionately but ruffly. "Fuck baby" he says as i trail kisses down his neck, sucking at his sweet spot. His hips thrust up running ours cocks together making me moan loud. I grind on him making him lose control and thrust his head back into the sheets as he grabs my shoulders sinking his nails into my skin. "Fuck." "You like that baby?" "Fuck Yea!" he yells. I rip his shirt in two and trail kisses down his beautiful skin. I look up to him and our eyes connect. I lose it. I loose the control on myself. I unbutton his pants pulling them down along with his boxer, taking mine off as well. I look at him up and down. He tries to sit up but i push him back down and run my hands up and down his chest feeling his soft flaw-full skin under my hands, all his scars and childhood memories none the less he is beautiful a six pack barely forming. I grab his cock and run my tip making him let out a moan/ gasp. I play with the tip of his cock with my tongue as he squeezes the life out of the poor bed sheets. He cums in my mouth as i place it around his cock. I swallow it and lick any drop of cum that might have fallen. My cock twitches to his moans wanting attention itself. I suck and bob at his cock making him moan and curse nonsenseI look up at him still sucking his cock. He gifts me a smile making my heart skip a beat just like the first day i met him. I smile back at him and kiss him causing our cocks to rub against one another making us both moan loudly. He turn me around and runs his finger in the line of my six pack, before coming down and kiss me. I kiss him back but he moves his mouth to the spot under my ear causing everything to go blurry in lust. He goes down sucking my dick hard and fast making my breathing uneven and thicker just like he was a while ago. I play with his hair, slightly pulling it when he deep-throats me making us both moan and me cum as i see starts in a gray sky. I pull him up and under me not being able to wait much longer i grab lube and place some in my cock and some on his pink hole. I fuck him hard and deep making him cum twice. I cum with a loud yell of his name. Lay down next to him and hug my wonderful husband as our breath slowly goes back to normal. I look down to him falling asleep. I play with his hair until he falls asleep. Soon after I fall asleep as well.

**Smut Over***

I am shaken awake by my love. "Baby, wake up it's dinner time, come eat Evan and I made food," he says and I look at him wide open. He giggles. "We didn't burn the house nor punched the pancake mix," he says and I huge relieve comes over me. I close my eyes and then stand up.