Messed up...for Life

Thanksgiving

Emily's POV

  "I got it!" I yell towards the kitchen where everyone was eating. I open it to see Angela in handcuffs and a cop behind her. "What do you want?" I ask ruffly towards the cop. "I don't want anything, but your sweet younger sister was caught with coke," he says and I nod. He undoes the cuffs and threw her towards me giving me time to catch her. I grab her arm. "I'll see you around Mrs. Delare," the cop says and walks to his car, I wait till he leaves to get inside. I pull Angela with me to the kitchen. "What the hell were you thinking?!" I yell at her. "Nothing! I just wanna die!" she says. "And I am supposed to fall for that? Because I am not! I wanna die, and I don't go around causing drama to get attention!" I yell at her. She starts crying. "We had talked about this Angela, you were going to stop, you said you wanted to do better, yeti don't see the effort," I say lowering my voice. "Angela, gave it all, I fought, I killed, I got people in the hospital because I wanted to give you a chance, yet you don't do nothing to get better" she looks at me and tries to walk out but I grab her and push her back to where she was,"Angie you know I'm here when you need to talk, you know I will fucking even get myself killed if needed for you, you know I will even find drugs for you if you simply asked the thing is that you don't. You don't ask. Instead of getting your fingerprints taken, it could have me handcuffed and you know I will get out of it, yet you decided to go out to place you know are not allowed to go and get caught. You aren't in trouble but those who were selling drugs to you are, they won't have a chance to be taken home with only fingerprints taken, Fuck No! They will stay in prison for the rest of their lives because they are gangsters, did you ever thought of that?" I ask and she shakes her head no. "Exactly... you can't go around causing issues because of drugs and you know what? I could really careless about those gangsters that are going to prison because they will more likely run away. But what if that cop had put you in prison? What if it had been you in those gangsters shoes? You wouldn't have the opportunity to get a job once you were out of there, you wouldn't go back to school and you'd never finish school. You are way more than what you think Angela. I know I'm not the most wanted brother, but you know what, I care and I look forward to seeing you in your high school graduation because you, Ty, and Edwin and even Fla are the fucking reason I'm here right now. I don't do this for myself. Don't do this to yourself, your hurting Alex and Matt even Brandon and Evan. Stay Strong." I say and she hugs me tight. I hold her as she cries. "Now calm down and eat something you left early and with everything that went on you need to eat. Just remember I am here if you need to talk or if you want something..." I say and shove her to the seat the Ed had opened for her. She giggles when I shoved her into the seat and I smiled before leaving to my room. We came back after almost a week of being underground, we mainly stayed for two reasons because we won't be going down there for a while and because I was in the hospital for 3 days.

 I finally decide to turn on my computer, for the first since I got here. Tonight will be Thanksgiving and Brandon's and Alex family will be over along with Angela's new girlfriend and Ty's friend, Fla will be over tonight. I will just go down to say thank you and then I will more likely come up to my room again. I don't enjoy many people. There is a knock on the door making me jump. I look towards the door, "come in". I say and Matt appears in the door. "Hey whats up, finally decided to turn on the computer I see," he says and I look back that the computer as it turns on. "Yea, I'll see what I can do with it." I say and he nods going silent. "whats the matter?" I ask him, he looks down then back at me. I turn in the chair and look at me. "Whats the matter Matt?" I ask again. "I think we have some stuff to talk about.." he says and I nod turning off the computer screen and standing up sitting on the couch as he does the same. "I'm all ears," I say and he nods. "Its... It's about you being trans" He says and I take a deep breath looking down. I nod. "what about it?" "You know I want to help you transition..." "But?" "But we got the tests results from the ones that you guys did at the aquarium... your health isn't as good to be able to transition but if we are to be able to fix it we will be able to transition... there is something missing in the tests. We don't know what it is but there is.." "I know what it is, but you guys can't know about that yet. I'm not able to transition I know and it hurts but there is really nothing I can do about it, I told you Matt... I won't be able to transition, I can't accept the help of doctors." I say as tears flow down my face. "Sky I think we can find some answers, fix what we have in our hands and once you are ready to tell us what is going on with you, the missing part of the tests... we can fix it"I shake my head no. "Matt, I give up can't you see? I try to stay strong and normally I have a smile on my face and try to be cheerful for you all but I'm nothing without trying." I say and he nods. "And that is why you won't give up on trying because when you try you can accomplish many things." He says but I look down. "I won't live enough Matt," I say closing my eyes resting my head on my hand and knees. "What do you mean?" He asks. "Matt that part that you guys are missing in the tests is the part that tells that I'm dying, there are multiple things going on and many missing parts are missing... Matt, there is a way that I can transition but for that, you guys would have to know what is going on with me and treat it but I am not willing to take the treatment, therefore, I am not transitioning." I say and Matt looks at me in the eyes and then brings me close and hugs me. "Em I will find a way I promise but you just need to give me a hand and start opening up, okay?" he asks but I shake my head no. "Why not?" "it's not worth trying to get better..." I say and close my eyes hearing his breathing and heartbeat. "We will find a way," he says.