Messed up...for Life

Why Now?!

Emily P.O.V.

I'm out of my thoughts when I hear a few mumbles and yells coming from the room next door. The room belongs to Edwin. I stand up and run to his room. I see Alex and Brandon already there. They try to wake him up but don't seem to be able to. I sit in his bed and hug him. Not caring about him scratching his wrist. I rub his head slowly saying "hey, hey calm down, shh. It's me Sky. He's not here he won't hurt you. Calm down. I swear he won't put a hand on you again. I promise. Now calm down and sleep baby boy." He calms down slowly he stops scratching his arms and goes back to sleeping soundlessly. I grab his wrist he had done some small cuts from the scratching over a few cuts he already had.I look at Brandon and Alex. "How you do that?" Asks Alex. I shrug. "I don't know. Trust and safety I have always giving him I guess." I say and look at Ed sleeping peacefully. "You guys can go back to sleep. I'll be watching over him." I say but Brandon doesn't seem convinced. "What are you insecure of?" I ask him. "That you need sleep as well. You do work tomorrow." He says. I slightly chuckle standing up in front of them. "I don't sleep man. I wish I could but I don't. I won't sleep. Not without Fla, Ty, of Blake around me. Sorry." I say and walk to the door. "Em you are still young you need sleep. There are pills you can take to sleep. I have some I can give you." Alex voice stops me from turning the knob. I shake my head no. Not turning around. "Don't trust me with pills" I say before heading out and into my room. I go to the bathroom. I go to the cabin and grabbed my friend. I lock the door and slid down in it. I pull up my sleeves. I lash my arms with cuts one over the other not caring about how much blood I was losing. I feel a tear run down my cheek, I wipe it away and rest my head back. "Why do I have to be so useless, stupid, fat, unwanted!? Why can't I be normal! I want to sleep, eat, love, care like any other person would. Why can't I! Why me!" I yell at myself not to loud...or so I thought. "I won't ever change. I can't. I'm so messed up. I'm messed up...for life!" I yell and hit my head with my knees in a fast movement. I let out grows and huffs out of pure anger. Not one tear I let out. I hear movement in the distance. I stand up taking a deep breath that folds me. I gain the strength to stand up pull my sleeves down and walk out the bathroom looking for the sound. It's not in my room. I walk out my room. I see a light is on downstairs but there is ruff movement. I go to my room and grab the gun. I see Matt and Evan along with Angela, Ty and Ed looking out the rooms. They see me with the gun and Matt tries to come to me. I hold my hand up stopping him. "All of you go to one room and stay there locked. I'll go get you when I know who is downstairs." I say and cautiously walk down the stairs. I'm blind by the light for a bit. Once my vision gets used to the light I go to the leaving room. I see Brandon on the floor... bleeding. "Where id Alex?" I ask in a low voice. "we where talking and someone came in. And took him to the kitchen." He says with a low voice as well. I nod. "Stay here." I order and walk near the kitchen to see Alex on the floor also in blood. I don't stop i continue to the kitchen and see there is someone in a black mask. They turn around and I hid behind the wall. I feel a gun load and I load mine. Lucky mine was silent.  I walk inside the kitchen. I see the person was back to looking around for what ever he was looking for. Do to the body structure I notice it's a guy.  "You should probably stop looking at me Emely." I hear a deep raspy voice. It catches my attention. I look at the guy in the eyes. He has grey eyes. "Who are you and why are you here?" I ask pointing with the gun. "You don't recognize me?" He asks. I shake my head no. "What's your name?" I ask. "Victor. Or Vic as you used to call me when we where together." He says and makes movement to take his mask off. Fuck no! I swallow. "What do you want?" I ask as my voice cracks with fear. "I came back for you. Remember the promise we made of always being together?" "The promise YOU made not me. I'm not going back. So might as well leave. I don't want you in my life. Never have. Never will. Leave!" I say as I gain control and confidence of myself again. "I'm not leaving alone you know that." He says and looks to my left.  I look to my let to see Alex. "You literally just hurt the people I care for. Are you really going to risk your life and take me with you? Beside what where you looking for?" I ask. "I could care less about these fags you call family. I care about you and only you and yea i'm risking it." He says. "Well got you news you leave or you die. Right here. Right now. As you say. I could care less about them seeing me kill someone. Not like they don't know I am a killer. Once again what where you looking for?" I say in a threatening voice as my eyes go red. "You won't kill me... You love me! And I was just giving you time. Nice gun you have here by the way." He says grabbing the gun but makes to attempts to hurt me. "I don't love you! I don't love anyone!" I yell. "You sure? I know you love KK and Jasper and what was the girls name?" He asks. "They are dead. All of them. KK and Jasper committed suicide the girl was killed by the Ryos." I say. "You are behind in news. They died a few years back." I say. "Why did they kill themselves? Where you not good enough?" He asks with a grin. "I've never been good enough for anyone." I say. "You are more than enough to me. Why don't you just come with me I'll prove to you that you are worth so much more than you thing baby girl?" He says and tries to come near me. I lower my gun going up to him. I hug him. "You are right love. I'll go with you" I say and he nods. He come and hugs me. I hug back taking advantage to shoot him in the lungs. He lets out an growl and i push him to the floor.  I look at him. "Who's the one dead now huh?" I ask and laugh as I see him struggling to breath. I look at Alex. His eyes showed fear. He looked at me. "Why did you?" He asks. "Him and I have a past. Not a good one." I say and look back at Victor. He looks dead. I check his heart beat. He's dead. I nod and take out my phone to call Mathew. "Hey your ass to my place. Victor was here. He's now dead." I say and hang up. I put my gun in my hoodie pocket. I walk to Alex but he walks back. I stop looking away. "Hey look i'm sorry okay? I won't hurt you I promise I won't." I say putting my gun in the other side of the room. I walk back to him to see he's leaning on the wall for support. "Where did he hurt you?" I ask. He touches his thigh. I nod and go to him not leaving eye contact. I help him sit in the couch. I hear the door bust open. I look at the leaving room door. It's Fla. I stand up and go to him. He hugs me tight and I cry. I let it out. He holds me til I stop crying. "What happened?" He asks afterwards. "Victor is in the kitchen" I say his eyes widen. "Calm down he's dead." I say and he calms down. And silently help Brandon sit in the couch. "Why did he come Em? He left a long time ago. Why did he decide to come now?" He finally asks. "He wanted me with him again..." I say and he looks at me like i was on fire. "Please tell me you didn't even think about it." He asks. I look down. "Em you know the damage he has done to not only Ed and me but mainly you! He abused of you! Em how could you even think about going back?!" He yells at me in my face. "He is the only one that has made me feel special, cared, wanted. Or so I thought. Until I saw his eyes. He was lying about making me feel important. That's when I killed him. Just remember it's not my fault i'm not wanted by anyone." I say and turn to Brandon. "Where do you guys have the first aid kit?" I ask. "In the first cabinet in the kitchen." he answers. I nod and go get it not being able to avoid looking at Victor. I take a deep breath and walk back to the leaving room. I feel a few tears run down my cheek as I hand Fla the kit. "Baby girl come here." Alex says and pats the seat next to him. I shake my head no wipe my tears away.  "No i'm fine. I'll be back. I'll tell the rest its safe but not to come downstairs. Okay?" "Okay" they say and I nod. "Fla, Mathew is in his way here. So they can take Victor's body away and clean up down here. okay?" I notify him. "Okay. Em mind me asking what why your arms are bleeding?" He asks. "Uh...Um i cut before any of this happened that's all." I say and try to walk upstairs. "Em stop right there." he orders as he stands up from where he was checking Brandon's cuts and bruises.  "Let me see." He orders. "Alex is also injured you should take care of them then you can check on me." I say and walk upstairs. "Em!" he yells from downstairs. I walk to each room checking which one is locked. It's Ty's room. "Hey guys open up. It's me Em. It's over. You guys are safe." I say and Evan opens the door. He sees me and opens the door so the rest can see it's me. "What happened?" Asked Angela. "Some asshole came. He's dead now though. You guys are safe." "What happened to him or her?" Tylan asks. "Him and I had no choice but kill him." I say looking everywhere but them. "Was it Victor or Jake?" asked Ed. "Victor. How did you know it could be him?" I ask curious on how he new he could be an option. "Because your eyes show regret, anger, determination, lost, and suicide. Nobody makes you feel that way other than him." he says and i nod. "Are Brandon and Alex okay?" Matt asks. "Yea they are injured but none the less okay." I say and turn around to leave but not before saying, "Don't go downstairs." I run back downstairs to see Mathew and Zaylian with a few guys who are taking away Victor. "Em!" Mathew yells. "Are you okay?" he asks. I nod. "Yea why?" "You sounded to calm in the phone so I got worried." he says and i nod. "Well i'm okay." I say and Zaylian looks at me suspiciously. "What is it Zaylian?" I ask. "We need to talk bout something. Mathew make sure things are going well. Please." He tells me then Mathew. Mathew nods and goes out the leaving room. I sit in the couch arm rest. "Em why are your arms bleeding?" He asks as he stands in front of me. "You already know. why ask?" I say not looking at him. I feel a hand on mine making me jump and look up. "Calm down." He says and rolls up my hoodie's sleeve I look back down. "Em you really need to stop this shit. Every time I see your cut's they are deeper. Are you like attempting suicide or something?" he asks in a serious. I shrug. "That's not an answer." he says. I don't answer. "Do to your staying silence.... i'm taking it as a yes it is a suicide attempts. You are hoping you go further and deeper every time you cut. til you get to the point there is no way back. I want you in my office at 8 in the morning. Understood?" He asks. I feel cold in my wrist. I look at it to see alcohol in it. I look up at him. "What? Are you expecting me to leave it bleeding?" he asks. I nod. "You know that's not going to happen. I care about you and that is why I need you at my office at 8 okay?" he asks. "Which office of both?" I ask. "The one near the hospital." He says. "Then that's not going to happen. I don't go near a hospital." I say. "Well I didn't ask you. I told you, you are going." "I'm not going anywhere near a mile from the hospital." I say sternly. "Em I need a doctor to check on you therefore you are going."  I chuckle. "Hospital. Doctor. Office. That's not going to happen. I don't like doctor which i don't trust. And I hate hospitals. Even in I didn't I would still not put someone I care about in danger just because I'm at a hospital. So no i'm not going. You can give me another time at your other office and i will go til them i'm not." I say as he finishes my wrists. "Fine how about in an hour at my other office?" He says. I nod. "I'll be there at 6 then..." I say. "Where is Ed?" "Upstairs in his room i'm guessing I told them to not come down stairs til I told them." I say. "Okay. How has he been. Has he cut?" He asks. "Yea he has but he is getting better. He eats now." I say. "Okay well you should probably follow his steps you don't seem very  i'll seem very healthy, I got to go but i'l see you in an hour then." he says and leaves. "okay" i say and wait til everyone leave before I go upstairs to check on the rest.