Exotica

Don't Judge Me

◇ Omniscient ◇

His eyes, a deep shade of red, filled with sorrow and hurt glance down the hallway of the empty apartment complex. Stepping out of the elevator that contained only his being, he stuffs his damp hands into the pockets of his windbreaker. Guilt and worry fill his thoughts as he forces his being to walk to her door. It was as if his mind and body were at war with one another. His mind told him to go while his body stood still like a defiant child disobeying their parent's orders.

Once face to face with her door, he runs his tongue along his bottom lip and removes one of his hands from his pocket, softly knocking on her door. While he waits he chews on the inside of his cheek and taps his foot to the tune that played within his head in hopes of calming his nerves.

"H-hey." He stutters, forcing a smile on his face, trying to mask the tears he had shed on his way up.

"Bye." She replies, trying to close to the door only for him to stop it with his foot. "Moonlight pl-"

"Shut up." She replies coldly, waving her hand in his face. Quinten bites down on his trembling lip, trying his best to hold back the emotions he took nearly an hour to control. "W-why are you doing this?" He questions, worried words slipping past his pink lips.

"Why did you do this, you lied to me. I can't even stomach to look at you; you make me sick." She says nonchalantly, showing no signs of care. Quinten blinks a few times, letting her harsh words sink in. Her harsh words that felt like a brand upon his melanated skin, her words cut him where it hurt but he refused to let it show. He understood that she was hurt and didn't try to deny what he did but, he just wanted to explain to her what she saw. He knew the thoughts that ran through her mind as well as the questions she had, he wanted to answer each and every one of them but her stubbornness didn't allow him to do such. Her stubbornness built a wall around her fragile heart, the same heart that he adored and loved was incapable of doing the same to him. Her heart was as cold as dry ice, touching it would result in a third degree burn, one that Quinten felt without even touching her. Just by looking in her eyes he felt his own heart tighten, the strings of it fighting to stay together instead of breaking like her's already did.

"Ugly words are uncalled for." He speaks after moments of silence.

"Lying is uncalled for but that didn't stop you now did it? I could see if you and I were in the beginning stage of our relationship, like four months in or something but, I've known you for two years. Two whole f-ucking years; you never mentioned having a whole ass family on the side. Are you ashamed of me or some shit, is that what it is Quinten or are you just a player? Dating me on the side only to go back to your wife and kids when it's convenient to you?"

"I was never and never will be ashamed of who you are. I don't judge you but you're standing here judging me and won't give me the chance to talk to you, I'm trying to t-alk to you Amini." He forces the tears the came to shore back out to sea, not allowing them to pool his eyes and blur his vision.

"You don't deserve a fucking chance to speak that's why. When you had the chance to you didn't so why the fuck do you think you deserve one now?"

"I-"

"You don't!" She yells cutting him off.

"Can you please calm down, reason with me. That's all I ask of you." Quinten didn't come to start a back and forth argument with her. He came to be mature and admit to his wrongs but every word that came from her mouth just made it harder for him. His mind was clogged with various emotions and words that he wanted to release, words of sorry and I love you but he knew that wouldn't fix what he had messed up.

A small laugh emits from her lips. Tears were forming in her eyes as well as his. She was hurt and angry but mostly angry, the one she thought was honest with her wasn't, she saw him as another Eric and that made her blood boil. She wanted to hear him out but at the same time she just wanted to hit him and scream every word that she felt. "I want you to leave." She tells him.