Broken and fractured,
No longer being a whole.
Burned by the light that shined down on her body every night,
Hearing the chants of men until she found him.
He brought silence to her violence,
He was the light calling out to her persona.
But, what ha...
I carefully walk down the staircase, holding onto the railing as best as I could. I was eight months now and it seems like the closer I get to giving birth the harder it is for me to do simple things such ass walk down some stairs. Once I finally reach the bottom of my stairs I speed walk over to the front door. Opening it, I smile once I see Yesenia. "Mama!" She hugs me tightly, squeezing the hell out of me but I didn't mind because it has now been a month or so since I've seen my children. After what Quinten told me, I made sure to just keep my distance and stop fucking up with him. There's basically no communication between him and I. He is up to date about my pregnancy and that's only because Cyarra is the one to comes with me to my checks ups that have now been weekly. My baby is doing fine which I'm thankful for, Quinten still does not want to know the gender but Cyarra already know's and she seems to be much more excited than I am. Which is shocking because her brother really wants nothing to fucking do with me but for some reason she's still supportive.
"I've missed you so much, How are your siblings?" I ask as we break our hug, "And your dad?" She smiles wide and grabs her bags that she had placed on the ground. I take one of them out her hand and step aside so she can walk inside our home. "Wow, this house is so big, daddy wasn't lying." She says in awe while her brown eyes scan the foyer of the spacious home. I nod, agreeing. This is a big ass house and I'm still trying to get used to sleeping in it alone but only when Kendall isn't around much, she's still doing modeling so at times I may go a week without seeing her but if she's in town, the first thing she does is come to check up on me and stay with me a few nights.
"Daddy is okay, I guess. I've been trying to talk him out of the divorce but he keeps telling me to stay in a child's place." She rolls her eyes then shakes her head.
"Your dad is right." I admit, "I don't want you to get involved with the divorce, it's bad enough that we have to go through with it."
"Well okay then, but anyways.... Lur is now six years old, daddy took us to a skating rink with Imani and we had fun but I wish you were there." I wish I was too but it's best that Quinten and I keep our distance even if it does hurt, I take full responsibility for what I did so I really can't get mad or upset about anything. "That's good to hear, let me show you your room." I grab her hand, interlocking our fingers and lead her over to the white, spiral stairs. We take our time up them while talking about what has been going on recently in our lives. Turns out that Quinten decided to let her go to the day camp during the summer which is only four days a week. She's got on the topic of picking out colleges to apply to next year and her relationship with Jasmine is good according to her.
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"This is my room!?" The happiness in her voice honestly makes me happy, I've been doing horrible shit for too long so to actually see someone happy because of something I did makes me feel like less of a shitty person. "Yeah, I hope you like it. I have Paz, Lur, Os and the baby's room set up as well. I know that your dad really doesn't want them around me but if he changes his mind over time their rooms will be ready for them." With me being alone most of the time, I had to find something to occupy my time so I decided to just decorate the house, I may not have been able to be fully hands on with the decorations but just being able to pick out the colors and flooring was good enough for me.
