We Can't (Jumin x Zen)

I Can't

What a treat! I'm so surprised in myself for writing and updating TWO DAYS IN A ROW! I hope you all enjoy!
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Jumin was in the back of a limo on his way back to Zen's house to pick up his bags after just finishing work.

The limo came to a very fast stop making Jumin jolt a little forward.

"Excuse me sir for the sudden stop" the new driver said.

"No worries." Jumin replied plainly.

I miss driver Kim, he thought.

Jumin sighed and looked out the window, rush hour traffic was just beginning.

It's going to be another 30 minutes until I make it to Hyun's house now, Jumin thought annoyed.

Jumin sighed again rubbing his eyes.

I just want to talk to him, tell his about my day, he thought, I want him tell me it will be okay.

Jumin put his head in his hands hunching over.

Why did Jaehee have to bring that up?! Doesn't she understand that I know the possible consequences?!

I have dwelled on this for a long time!

I've looked at every angle of this relationship and I just keep coming back to the same thing...

"Tsk...fuck the odds" Jumin mumbled "I love him, I want him for myself".

But I'm just being selfish aren't I...

Tears welled up in Jumin's eyes.

Why can't I just be selfish? I want him for myself.

Why must he be loved by so many others, Jumin thought, what if the love him more than I do?

Jumin shrugged off his black suit jacket and loosened his black tie. He wiped his sweaty palms on his black pants not wanting to get his white button down stained by his anxious sweat.

Jaehee is right, he thought, our careers...his career.

I will ruin everything for him, everything he's been working so damn hard for would go down the drain if he stays with me.

All his fans would hate him because of me and then my precious Hyun would lose it all.

Tears now rolled down Jumin's cheeks.

But I love him, I want him for myself.

Tears rolled down harder.

But I can't.

I have to end this...for his sake.