Hidden stars [j∙jungkook ff] ●EDITING●

Chapter 30- depressing again

Hey guys! This may be a little short like the last one but that is because I've just finished school and need some rest... but don't worry after that I will be updating all the time YAY! Ok thank you all sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much for reading love yas~
India 💙
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Ji Hee POV
Today is the day! I have to go to caught and face my so called parents and brother. I really don't want to though, I hate them! I hate what they did to me! And I know if they win... they'll do it again! I just know it!

I wash my face in the sink and look in the mirror. There's a young teenage girl, average looks, smart and nerdy, awkward with others and abused by some. She is hurting all the time. I know this, because it's me...
I look harder, the sadness in my face. The hurt and sorrow. The red puffy eyes that are swollen and the pale white skin. I look dead, I wish I was!

(Warning! Suicidal thought and actions. Plz no hate, I used to be like this so I'm just writing from the heart. I won't go into detail coz I'll end up crying but if you don't want to read skip till you see bold letters again :/ )

I have the erg again. I thought it had gone away completely, I guess not. I pull out a razor from the bathroom cabinet along with a tube of pills. I was like this after my... my sister died. When I became IU it went away. I was happy... well that didn't last long.

'Your useless'
'Your ugly'
'No one wants you'
'Your nothing'
'Go die!'

Run through my mind as I pull the silver blade closer to my waste. I slowly lift up my pyjama top, revealing my plate, smooth, perfect looking skin. The blade nears. I prepare for the pain. Just one cut, then I'll stop!

I slowly press the blade down, pain already racing around my waste. I move the razor along, it catching at my skin and deepening until blood starts to rush out. I press down one more time so the cut deepens further before pull the blade out of me and grabbing a hand full of tissues to stop the bleeding.

I look at my waste now. Stained red, not white but light reds and pinks. One but line across the side of it making it no longer perfect. I smile, I feel pleasure. I'm not sure why, but the pain gives me a smile. That when I feel numb and useless, I still can feel the stinging pain of blood rushing out of my waste. It looks good, beautiful in fact. Maybe one more.... just one?

With out thinking I dig the blade still dripping with my own blood into some skin above the previous cut. I press hard and move it parallel with the first mark. A dark red substance pours out so I know my job is done. I quickly make a few more deeper slices into the side of my waste before I have the strength to stop.

I turn the tap on and wash the razor before putting it back in the draw. Grabbing some more tissues, i press them into the cuts. Finally the blood stops and I splash some water onto my hip to clean off most of the stains before pulling my top back down.

(Warning! The suicide stuff is over. Sum up -Basically she cut herself on the hip because she feels depressed. The last time she did it is when her sister died. Ok back to the story!)

"Hey, Ji Hee are you almost done in there?" Jina knocks on the door.

"Errhhh, yeah I'm done wait a sec!" I shout back, checking my face one more time before opening the door and rushing back to my room before anyone can talk to me.

I change into some clothes that cover my whole waste and do my make up so I look less dead.

I wear some thing that's quite smart so I come across as responsible to the judge, let's just hope they listen!

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We arrive at the court house. Everyone of my members hugs me tightly. They say some encouraging words, I don't really listen. I'm too busy staring at the doors of the big, grand building where the rest of my teenage life will be decided.

We walk closer and enter the building, it smells like old wood. The room is filled with one side lawyers from BigHit, the other random people, some look official, some like they have just come down from the blowing club to watch. I search and search, for some people I really don't want to see!

"Looking for us, sweetheart?" A soft voice speaks.

I turn around. And there she is, there they are. The people I loved, now hate the most!

My 'family'

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Any yoongi stans?? Well if so, go read burning_stars15 book trouble. It's so cute with fluff and a great read!! Hope you enjoyed!!!!!!!

Ps. Plzzzzz vote if you are able to move you pr finger too... if your too lazy I get it :)