Chapter 34

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I was lying in my bed as Riley played with his Derby teddy bear next to me, looking at the plane tickets. I twisted them in my fingers reading the words on them again. I rolled onto my back in frustration and covered my face with the pillow.

“Mama.” I removed the pillow off my face and lifted my head up to look at my smiling boy by my feet. He handed me his teddy bear and crawled closer to me. He sat next to my torso so I softly rubbed his head. I looked at the bear awhile before I handed it back to him. He pulled it close to him and laid down next to me as I continued to rub his blonde hair as he fell asleep on me.

I continued to think of the decision I had to make. My heart had decided a long time ago what it wanted and I wasn’t going to be able to change that. My head, on the other hand, was trying to make the best possible decision. I ran through all the possibilities in my head.

Con – Niall was still touring with One Direction, and if I went to school we couldn’t go with him so we would be apart for long periods of time.

Pro – My son would have his father.

Con – We would have to tell the world about Riley and deal with the press we got afterward.

Pro – We could be a proper family.

Con – Who knows how the fans would react.

Pro – I still loved him.

Con – What if we didn’t work out and broke up again?

Pro – Riley already loved Niall, how could I keep him away from him. Even if I didn’t go back I couldn’t keep Riley from him, and I didn’t want to. Niall would still want to see him, so would it be worth trying to keep him a secret or should we just tell everyone anyway.

Con – I would be away from my family.

Pro – I didn’t really need them when I had Niall.

Con – Did I want Riley growing up in that crazy lifestyle? His father gone for long periods of time, getting expensive gifts, traveling the world, being around famous people. Would he become a spoiled rich kid?

Pro – If I didn’t go back, he wouldn’t have his father anyway.

I pick up my phone to look for what I needed to find on it.

Niall POV

I had just gotten out of the shower and was sitting my couch watching TV. I only returned from our tour in South America this morning and didn’t have anything to do. I suppose I could get some groceries but I didn’t want to leave so I’ll just order something.

I was flipping through channels but found nothing on so I clicked the TV off. I throw the remote onto the cushions beside me and looked at my phone for probably the millionth time since I got home. Looking at my background picture of the two people I cared most about, hoping to find a message from her.

I wanted so badly to call her and tell her I love her but I couldn’t. I promised before she left that I would let her contact me but this wait was killing me. It had been only three weeks since I saw them last but I was missing them like crazy. I grew frustrated with my phone too and throw it next to the remote. I sat up on the couch and rested my elbow on my knees and tugged at the brown roots of my hair. Maybe I should go against what she want and fly to her and convince her to return with me.

There was a knock at the door so I stood up and with my slipper covered feet I walked to answer it. I didn’t bother looking through the peep hole to see who it was. I just assuming it was one of the lads or some other friend coming to see me after being gone. But when I opened the door it wasn’t them I saw. It was her, with Riley in her arms. “We’re home.”

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