You Deserve To Know

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Ok so this chapter has a trigger warning

I forgot how much I missed waking up with Blake. Today he was there, lying next to me. I opened my eyes and Blake said "Finally Anna is up. The time is 9:34, you've woken up in Orlando, it's November 3rd-"
"Wait November 3rd?"
"Yep the day after the 2nd and the day before the 4th" I quickly looked at my phone and sure enough my mum had been texting.
Hope you're enjoying tour don't forget it's her birthday
I thought I was imagining it. But no I wasn't.
"Ann you ok?"
"Yeah Disney today!"
"Anna what was on your phone you looked upset when you looked at your phone"
"Nothing my mum had just text me. I'll get dressed and we'll head to Disney"
"Who's birthday is it?"
"What?"
"I saw your mum's text" George walked through the bus into the bunk bit, where we were. "We'll carry this on later" I'd have to tell him now.
"Forget it lets go to Disney"
I got dressed, did my make up, did my hair and we headed to Disney.
"Where do you want to go first?" Blake asked me.
"Well it doesn't matter I'm dragging you around all of them anyway"

***

"Come on Blakey let's go on space mountain" I had his hand and was dragging him around. I had Minnie mouse ears on because who doesn't love them.
"In a minute" he said turning me around and kissing me. I realised we were in front of the castle. I heard a phone camera sound go off. I knew that must be Reece or George. We pulled away and smiled at eachother. George gave Blake his phone back. "Happy now Richardson?" He said.
"Extremely, now let's go to space mountain"
I screamed the entire ride. "How have you not lost your voice? You screamed on every ride so far"

***

"B can we stay for the parade?"
"Um. Yeah it's the best thing ever!"
We stood looking up at the fireworks. Blake wrapped his arms around my waist and I put my hands on top of his. He bent down slightly and put his head on my shoulder. "I love you"
"I love you more"
"Impossible"

It was the best day ever we went to every show, went on every ride and did everything in Disney.
"Thanks for an amazing day guys" we were sat on the tour bus on the sofas
"It's ok I'm tired out now I'm going to bed" George said. Reece went not long after. Me and Blake sat in silence he had his arm round me.
"Who's birthday is it?" He said.
"Blake...I..."
"Anna we're engaged I thought you were going to be honest with me. Well apparently not"
"No no I am it's just..."
"Anna I tell you ever little thing and I do it because I love you so much I thought that was the type of relationship we were in but apparently not"
"Blake I do love you but you'll never look at me the same when you know"
"I love you and that will never change please tell me"
"Fine you really want to know who's birthday it is? My daughters" he looked at me so confused. "Exactly"
"You're a mum? How? Why? I've never seen her"
"Neither have I" I couldn't look at him. "You want to know the story don't you Blake?"
"I do but not if it's hard for you"
Trigger warning
"So, I was walking home one day from a school but I was late because I'd had a club. I'd had to get home really quickly because we were going out. I... I..." I started crying. Blake wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me tight. "Don't carry on it's too hard for you"
"No I need to you'll find out eventually. I took the short cut and yeah" I couldn't stop crying now. He held me so tight. "Anna I'm so sorry I pushed you to tell me I love you and it changes nothing I still want to marry you and everything we planned"
"I need to finish. I tried to get away but I couldn't-" I was a horrible crying mess. "When I did I ran home and never looked back. I felt horrible and almost dirty. I was so embarrassed about what had happened. But I knew if I didnt say anything they would get away with it I won't go full on into detail of what happened but they took DNA, took photos and did so much" I don't think any of what I was say was making sense I was crying so much.
"A few week..s...l..at..er  I found out I was pre...gna...nt-"
"Ann stop this is to difficult for you. You don't have to tell me anymore"
"I can't keep her a secret. That dick that did it got a harsher sentence because he took 2 things from me I can never get back"
"What?"
"My virginity and my first born. But in my mind I didn't loose my virginity to him I lost it to you. Technically I didn't but I will always in my mind think I did because he forced me and it wasn't love but what we do is" he smiled.
"I love you so much Anna and the fact you're telling me means so much" he wiped tears away off my cheek.
"I'll carry...carry on I wanted an abortion at first. I was only 14, 15 when she would be born what could I give her. Nothing. I couldn't support her I would hardly have time for her with school and exams. But part of me felt wrong I felt like I'd be killing someone, my daughter. But I couldn't keep her. I nearly booked it. Nearly. But my auntie couldn't have kids so I couldn't do it. I ha... I h..." I full on crying into Blake, I was crying really loud. George came in, "Anna are you ok? We can hear you crying"
"It's fine I've just. Nothing I'm fine. What did you hear?"
"Nothing we just got in our bunks and heard crying only really quite though but we heard no talking. We were just worried because we think of you as a sister"
"Thank you"
"You two aren't fighting are you?"
"No no we're not fighting"
"Good I leave you alone if you're sure you're ok?"
"Yeah we're fine" He went back and shut the door behind him.
I took a deep breath and carried on. "I had to give her up. I had no choice. I'd be a single mum at 15 and I'd have to look after her of course so I'd fail school then we'd have nothing because I wouldn't be able to get a job. She needed to be with some that could give her everything. My parents supported my decision. So I was pregnant lucky I didn't get to big, until 6 months big jumper, coats, scarves and all that wasn't good enough. Everyone mades fun of me I didn't want to tell anyone that I was... Well yeah" the whole time tears were going down my cheeks. "Let me tell you something, giving birth kills. My water broke at 10:34pm on 2nd November 2014 when she was born I held her she was beautiful. I cried I didn't want to let her go but I had to. I took pictures with her, I took pictures of her. I called her Luna as in Luna Eclipse. Because although she was amazing I couldn't keep her"
"Anna I'm so sorry do you ever see her or want to see her?"
"Of course I do but the type of adoption she had meant I can't make contact until she's 16. I'm tired come to bed with me you know how hard it is to sleep without you"
"Of course I'll come, Anna I'll never mention it to anyone ever and A this changes nothing"
"Thank you, you're so amazing I love you so much" my face was red and tear stained from all my crying and Blake's shirt was wet where I'd been crying all over him.

First Published- 14th August 2017
Last Updated- 16th August 2017

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