Blake Richardson || Away

Miss

"Is it my cancer? Has it come back?"
"No, don't worry about your cancer is at bay. It's about your pregnancy"
"Wait what?" I looked at the doctor confused.
"Anna what are they on about?"
"I don't know" I said to Blake. "I'm not pregnant"
"What makes you so sure?" Blake and the doctor asked.
"I've been having my periods, I've not had any signs and we have always used protection. You must have mixed me up"
"I'm sorry Ms. Brooks your tests definitely showed you pregnancy"
"How pregnant am I if I really am?"
"You were about 4-6 weeks"
"4-6 I've definitely had my period since then. Wait were?"
"I am so sorry Ms. Brooks and was it Richardson?" He said looking at Blake.
"Yes"
"I'm sorry Ms. Brooks, Mr Richardson"
"When did the baby well. When did it happen?" Blake asked.
"We think just before she came in so this morning time"
"What did I do? It's my fault isn't it? Because I starved myself?"
"Well Ms. Brooks it may have played a part in it. But don't blame yourself talk about it with your partner. You'll make a full physical recovery. Shall I send your parents in they're getting anxious out there"
"Yeah tell them to come in, in a few minutes"
"Of course" The doctor left.
I cried. Blake stood up, lent over to me, put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into a big hug. I felt his tears on the top of my head.
"I'm so sorry B" he pulled away and looked me in the eyes.
"Don't be sorry"
"It's my fault"
"No it's not don't blame yourself"
"I starved myself meaning I starved the baby"
"Anna stop. It isn't your fault" He kissed me then hugged me.
"Annabelle are you ok?" My parents yelled and they barged in. "What's wrong? What's happened?"
"I'm sorry mum"
"What?"
"You're going to be so disappointed in me"
"We would never be disappointed in you. Why would you think we would?"
"I was pregnant and didn't know"
"What? Annabelle what do you mean?"
"The doctors just told me I'd had a miscarriage. I didn't even know I was pregnant"
"How didn't you not know? Surely you know signs"
"I've had no signs, I've had periods. I thought me being sick was because I wasn't eating and my stomach acids coming up"
"Oh my. I'm so sorry. I'm not disappointed. Just you told me you were safe so it's a shock and you were not eating I thought you weren't doing that anymore"
"I'm sorry it's my fault the baby died. I've let you down by getting pregnant and for loosing it"
"Do you really think that?"
"Yes"
"I keep telling her she hasn't let anyone down but she doesn't believe me" Blake said.
"Miscarriages will always be horrible and at such a young age not knowing but don't stop living. It's ok to greave but still be Annabelle and Blake the cutest couple I know" she said with a smile.
"Thanks mum" I said trying to smile. "And don't ever think you've let us down you never will"
"I never pass this"
"You will it just takes time like everything and you have Blake to help you get through it"
"You're right" I looked at Blake. "It was your baby too" He looked at me tears in his eyes.
"I know and we'll get through this together. Yeah?"
"Yeah of course"

***********A weeks later***********

I was home now. I've hardly left my room. Blake had been with me a lot but we hardly talked about it, we watched movies. I was snuggled up to Blake on my bed, my head on his chest.
"Blakey?"
"Yes beautiful"
"We need to talk"
"Are you breaking up with me?" I sat up.
"Why would you think that?"
"You said 'we need to talk' that's like a classic break up line"
"No no I never want to break up. I wanted to talk about" I put my had on my stomach.
"Are you sure? I don't want to talk till you're definitely ready"
"I'm ready"
"Ok then where do we start?" He sat up and faced me.
"How did losing the baby make you feel?"
"I was shocked, heartbroken. I don't even know. I was shocked you were pregnant. Heartbroken I had a baby I didn't know about well... Leave before I even knew I had them. What about you?" He was about to cry I could hear it in his voice.
"Upset, like a failure. I lost our baby before I knew they were there. I killed them. And I'll never forget that"
"You're not a failure" he said wiping tears from under my eyes.
"Yes I am. I failed everyone by getting pregnant. I failed everyone by losing the baby. I've done everything wrong I'm sorry. What did your family say? Let me guess. Fa-"
"Only my mum knows"
"Why?"
"I just couldn't tell anyone it took me ages to even tell her"
"What do you mean?"
Blake's P.O.V
Flashback to when he told his mum
I was sat in my room crying. I couldn't cry in front of Anna, she'd feel bad, I didn't want her to think I'm weak. My mum came upstairs and into my room. "Blake what's wrong? Why are you so upset?"
"It's nothing mum. I'm fine"
"No you're clearly not"
"Mum please go I'm fine"
"You're not but I'm hear when you're ready to talk to me" she gave me a hug. About 10 minutes later my sister came upstairs. "Hi. How are you?"
"I'm fine"
"No you're not. Come on I'm your big sister"
"Noting to tell I'm fine and I know mum sent you"
"You're my little brother and I love you to pieces, I care for you, I want to know what's wrong because I care"
"Nothing is wrong"
"You're not going to tell me, are you?"
"Nothing to tell"
"Please"
"No" she gave me a little hug and said "I'm here for you when you want to talk" and she left.
20 minutes later my cousin came in. "Hi Blake. How are you?"
"Fine"
"I've know you my whole life, I know you're lying. You're bubbly, happy. Never sit crying in your room, and you tell us everything"
"Nothing to tell"
"So I gather you're going to ignore me and not tell me anything right?"
"Yeah"
"So when you're ready I'll always be here to talk and I'll never tell anyone"
"Thanks Alexia"
"See you soon Blake"
Mum came upstairs.
"Ok Blake you won't tell me, you won't tell your sister, you won't tell your cousin. What am I supposed to do? You're my son I want to help you but I can't if you won't tell me what's wrong"
"Anna had a miscarriage"
"What? Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry"
"I didn't know she was pregnant neither did she. Before you ask she was having periods, and we were being safe so it was a massive shock to both of us"
"Oh Blake I'm so sorry" she gave me a big hug. "Do you want to talk?"
"No. I mean yes. I don't know. Yes I do but I don't know what to say"
We talked for ages.
"Mum please don't tell anyone not even Abbie or Alexia"
"Of course"
Back to now
Anna's P.O.V
He told me how his mum found out.
"I bet she hate me now"
"No she doesn't nothing has changed she still can't wait for you to be her daughter in law. She loves you so much and when I called her to say you were in hospital she nearly cried she asked me to keep her updated she was so worried about you and she doesn't hate you she has so much sympathy for you, us. And by they way so do all my family."
"There's a few people that need to know"
"Who?"
"Abbie, Alexia, the rest of your family, Reece and George"
We carried on talking about it all. All my family knew and Blake's family needed to know too. As well as Reece and George. Now to tell them Blake was going to tell the boys because they were his best friends. I was telling Abbie because we were close, like sisters, she was my only proper friend.
"When are they lads coming up?"
"Tomorrow so I'll tell them then"
"I'll tell Abbie then too"
"I love you Annabelle Elizabeth Brooks we'll get through this I promise"
"I love you more Blake Edward Richardson"

First published- 9th September 2017
Last updated- 30th December 2017