Rain's pov
I am still crying by the time I get dressed the rest of the way and start walking over to Hoseok's house. I have to do the right thing. I have to tell him what I did. If I don't, I would feel even more guilty than I do right now. I can't do that. I can't stay with Hoseok and lie to his face every second that we are together.
The wind makes my hair fly everywhere, making it an even bigger mess than it already was before. People I pass on the sidewalk stare after me with looks of pity as well as disgust on their faces. I understand why; I look horrible. My hair is a mess and my makeup is running down my face as I continue to cry. My clothes are wrinkled and my nose is red from all of the tears I have wept so far.
I get to his apartment building and walk inside, taking the elevator up to his floor. The elevator soon fills with my pitiful crying, just the thought of what I have to tell him making me cry even more. My feet drag as I walk along the quiet hallway and to his door, my hand shaking even as I knock.
"Rain? Is that you?"
The door is opened almost immediately, it as if he was waiting for me to come the whole time. He hugs me as soon as he sees me, his nose resting in the crook of my neck. I can't help but cry even harder at the warmth his body gives me, my hands suspended behind him. I can't bring myself to hug him back, too digested in myself to pretend as if I deserve his care and affection.
He pulls away when he doesn't feel me hugging him back, his eyes filled with concern as he takes in my appearance.
"Are you ok?" he asks softly, his hand reaching up to dry my years. I swallow the large lump in my throat as I take his hand in mine, bringing it away from my face. He frowns when I let it go, his eyebrows furrowing in concern.
"If this is about what I said yesterday, I want you to know that I am really really sorry about that. I didn't mean to yell at you jagi, especially on your birthday."
He steps forward and I sob, stepping away from him.
"Hoseok I have to tell you something."
He stops trying to get closer to me, his look of concern turning into confusion when he hears the tone of my voice. I close my eyes and take a deep breath as I feel my heart breaking because of what I have to tell him.
"Last night...after I left...I went to a bar and had way too much to drink. And.......Taehyung was there."
He leans against the doorway as he looks at me, his head tilted to the side as he waits for me to continue.
"A-and he took me home because I couldn't get there by myself. I-I didn't mean for anything to happen, I swear. One moment he was leaving, then the next we were....."
His look changes immediately. I hate myself even more when I see his eyes start to glisten with unshed tears, his nose turning red as he avoids eye contact with me.
"You two......?"
He doesn't even have to finish the sentence. The look on his face makes it clear that he already knows the answer.
"I understand if you totally hate me because I'm starting to hate myself too. I just can't get over the fact hat I hurt you. I also understand if you never want to speak to me again" I say through my tears, not even attempting to wipe them away anymore.
I watch as he looks up before blinking rapidly, his eyes already red. I turn away and walk back the way I came, not able to stand seeing him this way. I messed up, and I will have to live with it forever now.
