A Malec Story

Chapter 35: Twenty first meet part 2

The stories of Max

Magnus

When he woke up, Magnus found it was dark outside, which meant night had fallen. Alec was still sound asleep in his arms, and Magnus tightened his arms around him, while staring at the ceiling of the bedroom. It was only a few minutes later that Alec started to move restlessly, a soft whimper escaped his throat and Magnus saw his eyes move rapidly behind his closed eyelids.

"Alec," he whispered, "Wake up, you're having a nightmare."

He shook him a bit and Alec's eyes flew open and he let out a startled cry. "Max," he said and he sat up straight in the bed. Magnus felt his heart contract. He put a hand on Alec's back, "Alec."

He saw how his shoulders sagged when he realized again that his brother was gone. He turned around and looked at Magnus, infinite sadness in his eyes. He laid back down then, his head on Magnus's chest, and let out a deep sigh.

"He's gone," he whispered, barely audible, "I can't believe it."

Magnus rubbed his back and pulled him closer. After about a quarter of an hour just lying there, Alec lifted his head a little and Magnus felt his lips on his neck. "Thank you for being here," Alec whispered against his neck. "I did little to deserve it. I didn't even keep our deal."

"Oh, Alexander. Do you really think I expected you to introduce me to your parents on the night your brother died?" Magnus sighed and thought back at what Jace had said.

"No. But I'd said I'd introduce you to my whole family, and that's impossible now. Cause one of them is gone and I can never introduce you to him." Alec sounded so hopeless, it made Magnus's heart ache for him. "What do I do, Magnus, what do I do? Nothing makes sense anymore."

Magnus's hands trailed in Alec's hair. "You have to go through the motions. Mourn. Cry your eyes out. And eventually you'll find something again that is pure and true and meaningful. And you'll know there are still things that seem right in the world. Things that make your life worthwhile again."

Alec lifted his head from Magnus's chest and stared in his eyes. "How did you become so wise?"

"Once bitten, twice shy," Magnus replied softly, "I had my share of loss. Lay back down and tell me about him. It helps. Just memories, let them flow from your mind."

"Remember him," Alec whispered as he laid back down. Magnus felt Alec's head rest where his heart beat. Then Alec started to speak in a soft, low voice. Shy at first, but as the story picked up, with more animation.

"I was nine years old. My mother came into my room, her belly had gotten so big. I was worried cause I saw she moved with difficulty. "Are you in pain?" I asked her, "Is the baby coming soon?" She smiled down at me and sat at the edge of the bed. "I'll be fine, Alec, don't worry about me." She said as she trailed her hand through my hair. "And I'm sure he'll be here soon. I did it before, twice, as you know. Now sleep and who knows, tomorrow you'll have a baby brother." When I woke in the morning I hurried to her room, somehow knowing that he was there. She was sitting upright in the bed and Max was in her arms. I scrambled up the bed next to her and she wrapped her free arm around me. I looked over at him. He was so small, his skin so soft and pink, his fingers so tiny. "This is Maxwell," mom said and she handed him to me. "I trust you, Alec. You can hold him." He wasn't heavy and as he lay in my arms he looked up at me. Dark eyes, dark hair. And I swear, even though it's impossible for newborns, that he laughed at me then.

"When he was one and started to walk, I followed him around everywhere. To prevent him from hurting himself. Isabelle and I would play with him all the time. We'd play house but Isabelle would ruin it because she didn't want to be the mother. "Why do I always have to be the mom," she would yell at me. "Because you are a girl," I said, not understanding what her problem was. Girls, right? Max started to cry as Isabelle stomped off. I took him from the crib and rocked him in my arms. I remember what I said to him. "Don't cry, Max. It's not your fault. It's just your mom being inexplicable as always." He stared at me with those big brown eyes, shining with tears. "Don't worry," I said, "You'll get used to it."

Magnus smiled at the sweet story and Alec fell silent for a moment. Just when Magnus wanted to nudge him to tell more, he spoke up again.

"Max was two when Jace arrived, and he immediately loved him. Like he loved everybody. I was apprehensive at first. Jace was new and he brought some disorder to my organized and tidy life. And Jace was hard and rough. I didn't know yet that it was a defense mechanism, a shield. Once I was studying in my room and I heard Max cry. He was probably waking up from a nap and wanted out of bed. I walked out in the hallway to go to him but Jace had beaten me to it. I came to a stand at the threshold of Max's room and watched, a bit anxious at first but that turned out to be unnecessary. Jace was standing over the crib and wiggling his fingers at Max. "Hi, little baby," he said and he gingerly lifted Max and pulled him on his lap. He started to sing a weird little children's song, bouncing Max up and down on his lap. Max was laughing so hard. When I close my eyes I can still hear the sound of it. As clear and fresh as rainwater in the spring. That's when I decided to give Jace the benefit of the doubt.

"Max was five, Jace and I were fourteen when we became parabatai. Jace had asked me and I told him I needed to think about it. It's a serious thing, to become someone's parabatai. You don't make that decision lightly. Max came to my room that evening, it was way past his bedtime. "Alec," he said, looking at me all serious, "You are going to say yes to him, right? Because I really think he needs you."

Alec's voice shook and he stopped talking for a while. Magnus looked down at him and wiped away the tears that were starting to slide down Alec's cheeks and he felt his heart break for the boy he loved.

" "You do?" I asked and he nodded. I send him back to bed but his words stuck with me and I felt he was right. Jace was crazy and suicidal, he did need me to have his back. So I agreed the next day. Max was ecstatic. "I knew you'd do it!" he said, his eyes shining happily behind the glasses he just got that week. When you become parabatai you need witnesses. Jace and I each chose two. My father and Isabelle were mine, my mother and Max were Jace's. The fire trial was in Idris. It was the first time for Max to go there. He was so excited. About the parabatai oath, about the journey. We had such a good time during that trip.

"It was not much later, when New York was caught in a very cold winter and we went ice skating in Central Park. Max was scared and he used a stool to keep him from slipping. Jace and I decided to help him. So we took away the stool and I was skating in front of him, squatted and backwards as he was holding on to my hands. Jace behind him, promising to catch him if he fell. "But you won't fall," I said to Max, "Because I've got you." He learned to skate that winter and turned out to be better at it then the rest of us.

"I think it was only last year, or was it two years ago that he had gotten a hold of my stele. I told you that, remember? I noticed it was missing but I was already too late. He was scrawling with it on the hardwood floor, leaving ugly black marks on the floor. "What are you doing?" I asked him, "You're ruining the floor. Mom will be so mad." "At you," Max replied, "It's your stele." The little bugger. I knelt down and took it from him. "Why are you drawing on the floor, Max. You know that's not what we use steles for." "I was cold," Max replied, "I wanted to heat up the floor." "You wanted to light it on fire?" I asked. "No," Max was looking at me over his glasses, looking so innocent. "I wanted to make the floor warmer for as I walk on it. My feet get cold." "Then wear socks." I said. He looked at me as if I were a complete idiot. "Socks, who wears socks?" he said and he got up and walked away, his head shaking in amazement at my ridiculous suggestion."

Alec had fallen silent. And Magnus was silent, too, for awhile. Thinking about Max and the beautiful, heartbreaking and funny stories Alec just told.

"Thank you," he whispered finally, "For telling me this." He tightened his arms around Alec and they laid still for a long time, reveling in the calm and serene atmosphere that filled the room.