Chapter 69: Thanks for Seeing Me

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Alec

After Simon was done depleting him from blood, Alec felt a little lightheaded. He quickly scrawled two blood replacement runes on his arm and an iratze before taking off to stand guard.

Jace followed him into the tunnel. Alec heard his footsteps behind him and waited until he'd arrived.

"We never got to finish our conversation, before," Jace said as he reached him. "I just wanted to say that you don't always have to be all right. I asked you to be my parabatai because I needed you, but you're allowed to need me, too. This"—he indicated his own parabatai rune—"means you are the better, other half of me, and I care about you more than I care about myself. Remember that. I'm sorry I didn't realize how much you were hurting. I didn't see it then, but I see it now."

Alec stood still, holding his breath as he let the words sink in. He didn't expect them to mean so much to him. Of course he knew Jace loved him and their friendship and bond would always remain, but for him to say this, Alec felt really relieved because of it.

He thought back at the time before Clary and Magnus had walked into their lives and he'd nurtured a crush on his parabatai. How stupid that had been, Alec thought. Jace was his brother, and he loved him like a brother. He reached out a hand and ruffled Jace's hair, smiling down at him. "Thanks for seeing me," he said, and walked off down the tunnel.

Alec had taken his backpack with him to the end of the tunnel. He sat down there and plucked a bottle of wine out of the bag. He knew it was probably a bad idea, but he needed the alcohol. The bottle was half full as Alec brought it to his lips. He closed his eyes as the liquid slid through his throat. It reminded him of Magnus and warm nights on the couch in the loft in Brooklyn. A glass of wine in his hand. Magnus's arm around him, leaning into his shoulder. Alec closed his eyes, trying to conjure up the peace he felt then. Magnus's nose nuzzling in his neck, his hand trailing through his hair. The Chairman jumping on the sofa and on his lap.

"The Chairman likes you," Magnus would say and he'd smile. The first time they'd kissed, Magnus had said he would never date anyone his cat didn't like. Crazy, funny, wonderful warlock. What Alec wouldn't give to see him again.

After an hour of sitting there, drinking wine and feeling melancholic about the past, Alec scrambled to his feet and went back to the big hall. He walked in on Isabelle and Simon in the middle of a make-out session next to the fire. To see his sister with the vampire in a passionate embrace was more than Alec could handle at that moment. He dropped the wine bottle to the ground where it broke into a thousand pieces and yelled at them.

"WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING?" His eyes were shooting daggers at Simon and Izzy, who both looked up, startled, and broke away from each other. "WHY CAN'T YOU GO SOMEWHERE ELSE TO DO THESE HORRIBLE THINGS? MY EYES."

"It's a demon realm, Alec," Isabelle said. "There's nowhere for us to go."

"And you said I should look after her—" Simon said. Alec glowered at him and he shut his mouth fast.

He went to sit down at the other end of the fire. "And where have Jace and Clary gone?"

"Ah," said Simon. "Who can say . . ."

"Straight people," Alec sighed in frustration. "Why can't they control themselves?"

"It's a mystery," Simon agreed as he closed his eyes. to sleep.

Alec shook his head and went to lay down, his face to the fire, he watched the flames dance. He closed his eyes, knowing he needed energy for whatever they'd face tomorrow.

What he faced the next morning was a pounding head ache, a result from drinking too much wine. Thankfully iratzes worked for hangovers too and after Jace had put one on his arm he felt remarkably better. Today was the day they would besiege Sebastian's fortress. They'd found out where it was yesterday, before all had gone wrong with Isabelle and the demon attack. But today they had a better plan. They were going up to the Dark Gard−a name Jace had come up with−in disguise and once inside they were going to find the prisoners, set them free and kill Sebastian.

It was a simple plan, nothing could go wrong with it, except maybe that Alec had absolutely no idea how it was ever going to work.

Jace and Clary asked the others to trust them. They had it all figured out but couldn't explain it. Alec did trust Jace, although it would've been nice to be let in. He didn't push the matter further, deciding it would be a waste of time.

Today they were going to find Magnus. That was all Alec cared about. And how they were going to survive after that, Alec didn't know and plainly he didn't care either. They'd face that bridge when they got there. To see Magnus again, nothing else mattered.

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