A Malec Story

Chapter 37: Max's funeral

Alec

It was getting late when Magnus conjured up supper. They ate in the bed and made out after. At one point Alec broke away from Magnus and said, "I need to go check on my parents, and Izzy and Jace. I don't want to, but I have to."

"It's okay," Magnus said, "I have to go, too. I have to be in New York."

"You're leaving?" Alec exclaimed.

"I'm sorry, Alexander, but I have to, I already stayed so much longer than I intended," Magnus raised a hand and touched Alec's cheek, "I promised Clary to wake her mum and I have to go do that, before all hell breaks loose. You get that, don't you?"

Alec nodded, but he felt sad. "You'll come back though, once she's awake?"

"I'll come back as soon as she opens her eyes. I'll bring her with me, for Clary. And then I'll be coming, looking for you."

"It's a deal," Alec said and kissed him once more, before getting out of the bed and putting his clothes back on.

He walked through the night back to the strange and unfamiliar house his family was staying in. He wanted to go home, to New York, where everything was familiar. Where he was happy and all his family members were alive. He knew that was in the past now. Forever bygone.

In the house he found his parents sitting next to Max's body in the living room. It was as if they hadn't moved at all. They barely looked up when he approached. He touched his little brother's hair, then bend down and kissed him on the forehead. It felt so cold, so hard. Alec shuddered. Then he looked at his parents.

"You should try to get some sleep," he said.

His mother looked up at him and smiled a sad smile. "It's okay, Alec. You don't have to take care of us."

"Yes, I do," Alec answered, "You are my parents. And I love you and I worry about you. You should go upstairs and try to sleep. Both of you."

He walked to his parents and put a hand on his father's shoulder. It took him some more coaxing but finally they got up and walked with him to the stairs. Upstairs Alec went to the bedroom he had chosen for himself earlier and went to lay in his bed. Thinking back on the stories he had told Magnus. And all the other stories of Max, still untold. And about all the stories that were supposed to come, but now never would.

Max's funeral was worse than Alec thought it would be. They were only with the four of them at the Necropolis, because Isabelle had refused to come. Maryse and Robert hadn't even tried to compel her.

Down at the Necropolis Max was laid down on a pyre. Shadowhunters burn their deaths. A Silent Brother performed the ceremony and a few words were said about Max.

Maryse started speaking. "My son, Maxwell, came as an unexpected present. Wonderful and curious he came to the world. He always wanted to know more and be in the middle of things. He was my little baby boy−" At that her voice broke and she started sobbing. Robert put an arm around her and she sagged back against him, crying uncontrollably.

Jace and Alec stood uncomfortable, waiting for her to calm down. When she grew still the Silent Brother asked Alec's father to speak, but Robert just shook his head.

Then Alec spoke up.

"Max, my little brother. Wherever you are, know that I love you. And I will never stop loving you, even if you're not here anymore to show it to you. I remember when you fell and scraped your knee. You came to me and I kissed it and bandaged it. "Can't you give me a healing rune?" you asked, not quite understanding that you were too young to bear runes. I said you had to be brave and bear it, because that's what Lightwoods do. You nodded, looking at me all serious. And you said. "I'll be brave, like you are."And you were. This is my pledge to you today. I will try to be brave now. To bear it now. To be without you from now on. But it's going to be the hardest thing I ever have to do. Yet we are Lightwoods, you and I. We can do it. We will be brave."

He looked down at his brother and then at his parents standing opposite the marble table on which Max's body lay. He saw they were both crying. Tears slowly sliding down their cheeks. He glanced to Jace, standing next to him.

Jace coughed and then started to speak. "For Max the world was his oyster. He was full of enthusiasm and curiosity, taking each day as an advantage. I loved playing with him. Alec and I, we taught him how to ride a bike, how to skate. He always wanted to know and learn. The little scholar." Jace lifted his head and looked to Alec and then to his parents. "I never had any family until you took me in. And I am so grateful for everything you've given me. Parents. A brother, a parabatai. A sister." Jace's voice shook and he stared at Max. "And Max, he was my little brother as much as he was yours. I lost one of mine. And it is not something I can ever get used to or ever be okay with. He was wonderful. And this hurts like hell."

Alec didn't think he had ever heard Jace talk about his feeling so openly before. He looked at him as the Silent Brother cited Callutus in Latin. When he was finished they repeated the final words.

"Ave Atque Vale, Maxwell Lightwood."

Then Robert took a torch and lit the pyre. Alec watched with dry eyes but a burning heart when the smoke gathered and rose up to the sky. Jace, next to him was shaking, and Alec reached out and grabbed his hand, holding tight. Jace squeezed back as they both stared up into the sky, watching the smoke rise. It burned his eyes.

When it was done, his parents told them they wanted to stay there alone for awhile, so Alec and Jace returned to the house, trying to get Isabelle to come down and eat something. She refused. They finally gave up and retreated to the living room as the doorbell rang and Clary and Simon showed up.

It was hard, Alec thought, to mourn when there was so much going on. Clary had told them about Valentine and how he had made an ultimatum. There was going to be a fight. A big one. Tomorrow, at midnight. Alec's parents had gone to the Hall of Accords to discuss what they were going to do. There was a chance that Downworlders would come and help them fight. But that was something that made Shadowhunters suspicious. Alec could imagine how the discussion was going in the Hall. Probably they were going around in circles. Wondering whether Downworlders could be trusted or if it was better to give in to Valentine. He hoped they weren't really going to consider that option.

He was lying in his bed, tossing and turning until he'd finally had enough of it. He got up, put on some clean clothes and headed for the street. To Angel Lane. Magnus wouldn't be there, but at least some of his stuff would be. He'd rather be there than here in this strange house. Simon was in Izzy's room with her - what they were doing? Alec didn't know and didn't want to know. And Jace had left, saying he was going for a walk. There was nothing that was keeping Alec here.

When he arrived at the door of Magnus's temporary house he realized he didn't have a key. He laid his hand on the doorknob, praying it wasn't locked, when the door flew open automatically. As if he was supposed to be there. He walked in and went straight for the bedroom. There he undressed and crawled under the yellow comforter. It smelled like Magnus. Alec inhaled deeply and closed his eyes. I'm going to be brave he told himself over and over again until he fell asleep.