Single Father • Namjoon + BTS!Kids

xli.

"I'm the tallest!" Jin yelled, grinning as Namjoon reminded him to stay still for the fourth time as he carefully drew a somewhat straight line on the door frame.

"You're the oldest. You've had more time to grow," Yoongi snapped as Jin spun away from the wall, hugging Tae who hugged him back (although he wasn't sure why he was getting a hug in the first place, but who turns down a free hug?).

Namjoon just smiled and drew the line for Yoongi, a good six centimeters lower than Jin's line.

"My turn!" Hobi yelled, grinning and standing with his back to the door frame.

"No fair! He's on his tippy toes!" Yoongi accused, not wanting to be shorter than any of his dongaengs.

Hobi grinned sheepishly before setting his heels down but still standing up as straight as possible, trying to account for every last centimeter that he possibly could.

"Is it my turn now?" Jimin asked, looking up at Namjoon through his dark lashes before Hobi nodded, pulling Jimin over the the wall and positioning him properly. "Am I tall, Daddy?"

Namjoon just smiled and marked the line. "We'll see when I'm finished, okay?"

Jimin just nodded, his face tensed in a look of hope.

"My turn, my turn," Taehyung said, hopping over and closing his eyes once he was lined up.

"Taehyung...what are you doing?" Namjoon asked, although he usually refrained from asking any of his children that question, having seen some of the questionable things they'd done (especially Tae).

"I'm focusing," Tae said. "If I think about being really tall, then it'll happen."

"Mmmhm," Namjoon said, already sketching his line. "Hope you concentrated hard enough."

Jungkook was the last to go, and he stood against the wall with a grin. "Am I super tall, Daddy?"

Namjoon knew that the Parent of the Year was supposed to say Yes, of course you are. But, as Namjoon had discovered over the past year or so, he was far from the Parent of the Year. Or more accurately, he never had been. "Nope. You're tiny."

Jungkook's smile dropped as his face took on the classic look of crushed disappointment, completing the evolution from Jungkook to Jungshook. Namjoon felt a little bad (but not really) so he gave Jungkook a pat on the head, but the youngest child just stumbled around in a daze, the result of Namjoon's savagery.

He finally finished, and everyone gathered around to see. The oldest were as expected: Jin, Yoongi, and J-Hope, but the real question was: who was the tallest of the triplets? It was often hard to tell, considering that they were running around most of the time, or their hair was floofy to the point where it added several centimeters to their height.

(Jin had insisted before the measurement process that everyone properly comb their hair to make everything even.)

Everyone stared at the small tick marks on the wall before J-Hope jumped up and down.

"IT'S JIMIN! JIMIN WINS!" he yelled before putting his hands on Jimin's shoulders from behind and grinning, resting his head on top of Jimin's hair.

Jimin's face ever so slowly shifted from shocked to happy, although he was trying to hold it in. His lips turned up slightly, and his eyes lit up, happy to win at something (even if he hadn't done it intentionally).

Jungkook was still shook to the point of non-responsiveness, and Tae just looked like he'd been dealt a blow but was prepared to be tough about it.

"Who needs height when you've got nice eyes?" Tae responded, to which Yoongi deadpanned, "But Jimin has nice eyes too."

"Well, who needs height and nice eyes when you've got great hair?"

"But Jimin has great hair too."

"Well, who needs height and nice eyes and great hair when...when you have aliens?"

"You don't have aliens, Tae. They abandoned you here, and they don't want you back," Yoongi said.

Tae threw his hands up in the air. "THEN WHAT DO I HAVE?!"

"I'm sorry, Tae," Jimin said, turning to Tae with his eyebrows creased. "You can be the tallest. Daddy can just write your name instead of my name on the line."

Tae sighed before shaking his head. "It's fine." He smiled at Jimin, walking over to him and pinching his cheeks. "You deserve it," he said before ruffling Jimin's hair and giving him a hug. "But don't think that I'm going to listen to you and do everything you say now or anything!"

Jimin's smile came back onto his face as he laughed before looking over at Jungkook. "Are you okay, Kookie?"

Jungkook sighed. "It's okay, there's always next time. You'll see."

Namjoon smiled at his kids. "All right. You guys can all watch one show on TV if you like-" He paused to give Jin a look. "One. That's singular. As in you can watch one single television show." He looked back to address all of them. "But you all have to agree on the same show, okay? Now Daddy's going to take a nap, so keep it down, all right?"

Namjoon waited for them all to nod before going into his bedroom. Five seconds after the door shut, he could hear yelling and stomping as they all attempted to grab the TV remote and pick the program.

Then there was a small thump and then Hobi's voice, "YOONGI! WHY DID YOU PUSH ME INTO THE TABLE!"

Followed by Yoongi's "Did you hear the sound just now? It was funny, right?"

"NOW FUNNY! MY HEAD HURTS! GET BACK HERE, YOU TURTLE!"

"Turtle? Says the horse?"

"Guys, what about this show?" Tae asked, and then there was a little bit of scuffling and discussion.

Namjoon smiled, closing his eyes.

He'd gotten the idea to do their height measurements on the door frame from Mark, who had told Namjoon how short Yugyeom was.

"It's kind of adorable," Mark had said. "But I'm scared that he won't ever grow past 165 centimeters."

Namjoon laughed to himself. Jimin was already taller than Tae and Jungkook. If any of them reached 180 centimeters, it would be Jimin.

Namjoon was about to fall asleep wahen he tuned back into his kids' conversation.

"Yeah, let's watch this one."

"The one that Daddy was watching that one time?"

"Yeah, the one with the aliens."

"Um, Tae? Those aren't aliens."

"What? Yoongi, what do you mean?"

"I mean that they're-"

Namjoon darted back into the living room, snatching the remote from the table and quickly changing the channel to the Animal Planet channel, which was featuring a special on the migratory patterns of sea turtles.

"None of you are allowed to watch that channel, all right?" Namjoon said, swallowing.

They shrugged but nodded.

"Good." Namjoon exhaled shakily. "All right, I'm going to sleep. Come get me if you need anything."

But please don't come get me because I'm tired and I need sleep.

And so help me, if you wake me up and you're not bleeding or otherwise injured...

You'll be seeing the emergence of Cranky Namjoon.

He closed his eyes and prepared for sleep a second time, barely catching the last sentence in the other room.

"I didn't know there was a TV channel about Yoongi?"

kind of a filler update, sorry

hope you all had a nice thanksgiving

also, small promo, please check out our newest book "numb"

it's about yugyeom from got7

and of course, it's by us so there'll be angst