Single Father • Namjoon + BTS!Kids

cx.

Jin sat in Yoongi's bed, Lala on the bedside table. He took Lala with every weekend (mainly because he didn't trust Yoongi not to kill the poor plant or hide it in the garden again), but he couldn't really identify why he still had Lala in the first place.

Lala was like the teddy bear you grew up with; it was packed with sentimental memories of your sweet youth.

But you didn't see 17-year-olds with teddy bears.

When were you supposed to throw away the bear, the memories?

Jin had thought about getting rid of Lala several times. It was just a stupid flower he'd had since he was a kid. And yet, every time he thought about throwing the flower away, he just couldn't go through with it. It felt like...murder. Jin didn't want Lala's blood - or... chlorophyll...or whatever was inside the plant - on his hands.

If he'd trusted Namjoon not to break Lala somehow, he'd probably give it to him, but...

He'd also thought about passing the flower on to one of his brothers. But he'd had a dream one night that Tae had eaten Lala, and although it was a dream, Jin didn't put it past Tae. As for Jungkook, he wasn't a bad kid, but Jin knew that Jungkook would completely forget about Lala, who would dehydrate and wither when Jungkook inevitably forgot to water him.

Hoseok would probably be all right, but there was a fair chance that he'd use the plant as some sort of experiment or try dropping it out a window, so he was out.

Jimin was probably the best option, but Jimin got too attached to things. If Lala died under Jimin's care, he'd probably mourn its death like that of a favorite pet or even a family member. Jimin had enough going on in his life that he didn't need to carry the burden of a flower's funeral on his shoulders.

Yoongi would burn the plant. End of discussion.

So Jin held onto Lala, but it wasn't the same as when he was younger. He didn't understand why he'd liked Lala so much then, or why he hadn't gotten rid of it sooner. The fear of kids at school finding out that he kept a pet flower grew inside of him every day, and the anxiety was starting to get to him. Would he be made fun of? Almost certainly. The girls might think it was cute, but the boys certainly wouldn't. Most of the guys were jealous of Jin, probably because he wasn't all that good of a player and got more attention than he deserved because of his face, and they wouldn't hesitate to tease him relentlessly about it in an effort to take him down a peg.

Of course, none of them had been to his house, so he was somewhat safe for the time being, except...

Except Jooheon, who had been over to his house multiple times. Jooheon knew about Lala, Jin's secret, one that could potentially ruin him. Jin had to wonder why Jooheon didn't just tell everyone to get back at Jin for moving on without him.

Why doesn't he get revenge?

But then Jin remembered.

Jooheon, odd as it was, was friends with Jimin. It felt weird now, but back when they were friends, Jin had been grateful. Jimin had been cooped up in the house all day with no one to talk to or play with, and when Jooheon would come over, he would talk with Jimin and see how he was doing. Jooheon had sensed how protective everyone was of Jimin, and without anyone asking him to, he'd treated Jimin with the utmost care. Jin had been delighted, back then. Jooheon had also known about his other secret, how he talked to an invisible Jimin, but Jooheon had never let that knowledge affect how he treated Jimin. Instead, he seemed to cherish him more, as if he understood why Jin was so attached to him.

Now...

Now, Jooheon was still great with Jimin. That hadn't changed, even with Jimin's development of a stutter. Jooheon was always patient, waiting for Jimin to speak. He didn't laugh or snicker or mock Jimin. He treated him like a normal person.

And in a way, Jin appreciated Jooheon's efforts.

But he also felt distanced, from Jooheon, from Jimin. He wondered if he was being replaced. He hoped he wasn't.

But maybe Jooheon was what Jimin needed, was who he needed.

Aren't you going to say hi to your brother while you're here?

He's too busy with everyone.

I'm sure he wouldn't mind.

His friends will make fun of me, hyung. I don't want to.

Jin had seen Jimin just after he'd been born, when he was new to the world. Jin had been with Jimin for most of his life, minus the gap he'd been with the Songs. Jin had been there through it all. Even when their mom had gotten split custody, Jin had still made it a point to keep everyone in contact.  Although he knew that cell phones would never bridge the gap living together would, he'd call and check in, every night, whether it was a half-hour call or just a few words. Eventually, that took too much time, and he made a group chat instead. From then on, he made sure to text everyone good night, every night.

But then he'd gotten on the team.

Practice had run late, one night.

He couldn't text everyone good night.

One night turned into some nights turned into every night.

Even when practice didn't run late, Jin had other obligations or homework to attend to.

When he didn't have anything stopping him, though, he'd already reached the point where it had become awkward to text them all. They still texted in the group chat, but they didn't have long conversations any more. Jin could exchange quick greetings, but he knew little to nothing about what was going on in their lives.

Slowly, inch by inch, day by day, Jin had withdraw from their lives.

He'd practically helped raise them, and now he felt like a stranger.

But who could he blame but himself?

He remembered the long years of sitting by himself in desk or being forced to sit in the hallway. Always alone, always by himself, always the odd-one out, always misunderstood and ignored.

But he wasn't anymore.

He was nobody, and now he was somebody.

Wasn't that better than being that boy in the back of the class, swinging his legs back and forth, alone in a room full of students?

Jin thought about the object he had hidden under his bed.

In order to change his past, he had sacrificed his relationship with Jooheon and his siblings, but he had also sacrificed a part of himself.

It was never all at once, never a big change. 

Crumbling is not an instant's Act.

But it had occurred nonetheless, and now, Jin didn't know how to go back.

for those of you who are curious, "crumbling is not an instant's act" is a poem by emily dickinson, and i'd highly encourage looking it up.

also, i think this is at #11 or so in fan fiction right now? so thanks :)