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"They're busy," Yoongi said sharply, glaring at the older. "Jimin and Hobi," he said slowly. "Your brothers."

Jin frowned at Yoongi and looked at the door. "Can I see them?"

"I just told you they're busy right now," Yoongi said again, crossing his arms. "What are you even doing here?"

"Well, Jooheon told me that Jimin was having a problem with not talking, and then you told me that Hobi was in the hospital, so I wanted to check on them and-"

"Jimin's fine now. He's been talking with Hobi for the past fifteen minutes. Situation resolved. And Hobi's already here, being taken care of. So thanks for coming, but we don't need you. Go drive yourself home."

Jin's frown deepened. "Look, Yoongi. I get that you're mad at me, but it was a mistake, okay? I had been thinking about Jimin since that's what Jooheon and I had been talking about, and when you called, his name came to my mind automatically, all right? But I'm here now and I want to make sure they're okay."

"They're not okay," Yoongi snapped. "None of us are okay. Which you might have noticed if you got your head out of your helmet or even just answered your phone once in a while."

Jin frowned. "My phone?" It dawned on him then. "Oh, your call from two weeks ago? I'm sorry, I thought it was an acc-"

"When have I ever called you, Jin?" Yoongi cut him off, and Jin paused to think.

"Well, never, if I'm remembering correctly."

"Exactly. I don't bother you with calls. I let you live your life of fame unbothered by the family you used to be a part of. And I call you one time - the only time I've ever called you, Jin - and you think it's a mistake?"

"Yoongi, I'm sorry, I was just-"

"No excuse is good enough, Jin!" Yoongi yelled, frustrated. "Can't you see that? Hobi collapsed in class because he was starving himself and Jimin's breaking down psychologically and they're here, Jin. They aren't making excuses. But you? You were just - just what? What was more important than the health and safety of two of your brothers, Jin? Your teammates?" Yoongi sneered. "Ask you what Hobi thinks about your teammates. Or maybe just ask him how it feels to be used and thrown away, the hot item of one week and gone the next. I don't care how much time you spend in practice with them, Jin. They aren't related to you by blood. They aren't your family. This is your family. This is where you were supposed to be two weeks ago. With us. Helping us. Helping me-" Yoongi inhaled sharply. "Hold it together. Because I'm falling apart trying to do all of this by myself, Jin. Not that you noticed."

Jin could only stare at Yoongi, open-mouthed, while he ranted. "I...I'm sorry, Yoongi, I-"

Tears were in Yoongi's eyes, not of sadness, but of anger. "I don't want to hear your apologies, Jin! I want to hear you say that you're back, that you're ready to share the burden, that you remember which sibling has an eating disorder! I want to hear you say that we're family no matter what, that you're our hyung and you're going to take care of us, of me. Why can't you just tell me what I want to hear, Jin?!"

Jin stared at Yoongi, still frozen.

And in the following silence that ensued, Yoongi realized that Jin couldn't - wouldn't - say those words because he didn't mean them. Not yet.

"Fine, Jin. Fine. But there's going to come a day when it's going to be your family or your team, and you're going to have to choose. Although I have a feeling you've chosen already." Yoongi's voice was angry but resigned. "Well, I hope your popularity was worth it. You paid enough for it. What'd it cost? Five brothers? That's funny, it only cost Judah one."

Yoongi turned on his heel and entered the hospital room behind him, slamming the door, and still, all Jin could do was stare in shock.

He couldn't process all of Yoongi's words just yet, but he knew they'd be running on loop while he tried, unsuccessfully, to sleep that night. For some reason, his mind fixated on what Yoongi had said about Jimin, that he was talking again.

There had been a problem that Jin hadn't even known about, and he'd been led to believe that he could be the solution somehow.

But even when he'd made the choice to attempt it, they had fixed it without him.

They didn't need him.

And the longer he thought about it, he realized that they hadn't needed him in a long time.

Is it because they're growing up?

Or is it because I conditioned them not to need me?

***

Jin drove home, and it was only as he was opening the door that he remembered that Tae and Jungkook were still stuck at school, waiting for a ride home. "Shi-" he began, but as he finished opening the door, he was surprised to see Tae and Jungkook sitting on the couch.

"Hey, hyung," Jungkook said, looking up briefly before returning to his reading material.

"But - weren't you guys at school?" Jin asked, confused. "Wasn't I supposed to give you a ride home?"

"Yeah," Tae began, flipping the page of the magazine he and Jungkook were sharing without looking up at Jin, "But it's fine, we called Lisa to drive us home."

"Oh. Sorry."

"It's fine. You were with your teammates, right?" Jungkook said as he flipped the page back because Taehyung had turned it too quickly.

Jin hesitated before nodding, accepting the given excuse. He knew he should tell them where Hobi and the others were, but then they'd want to go visit, and from the way Yoongi had treated him, Jin couldn't imagine that he'd be happy to see Jin back.

Jin retreated to their shared bedroom, his mind thick with confusion.

Even Tae and Jungkook didn't need him. Or maybe that wasn't the correct way to phrase it.

They'd become used to him failing them, neglecting them. As though they'd been expecting it. They weren't even offended because it had become a common occurrence. They'd made peace with the idea that Jin didn't have enough time for them or didn't remember them enough to pick them up.

When had it become this way?

For how long had this been going on?

Everybody seemed to have problems that he didn't even realize, or at least problems that had escalate further than he'd known. He used to be the one they turned to for help, the one they trusted to take care of them.

What would have happened if Jin had picked up Yoongi's phone call?

Would anything have changed?

And why did it feel like he wasn't a member of the family anymore?



judah is the brother that suggested selling joseph into slavery

genesis 37: 26-27 "judah said to his brothers, 'what will we gain if we kill our brother and cover up his blood? come, let's sell him to the ishmaelites and not lay our hands on him; after all, he is our brother, our own flesh and blood.' his brothers agreed."

for those of you confused between judah and judas - judas is the one that betrayed jesus for thirty pieces of silver

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