Karma's a bitch {Daryl Dixon}

32 || Just a Dream

-don't play song yet-

/WARNING SAD-TRIGGERING/

I'm sitting inside the prison with Beth. She's holding the baby's while I'm watching. I have nothing better to do.

"So you talked to Daryl lately?" She asks

"Uh, I guess not," I say taken aback

"You should."

I tilt my head like a puppy

"He might be going through stuff. Help him. Besides, it's an excuse to get closer to him."

I choke on my air. I start hacking and then laugh.

"There is no way The Daryl Dixon, would ever want to have me comfort him."

"Worth a shot."

We both look at each other and laugh.

"I ship Karmyl," Beth says
(Pronounce: Carmel)

"What's, Karm- whatever it is."

"It's you and Daryl's ship name."

Carl walks in

"I ship it too." He says

"What the heck is a ship?" I say

They both look at me like I have three heads. A cold sweat flushes over me.

"What?" I ask

"You don't know?" They say at the same time.

I sit there staring blankly

"It's like when you want two people in a relationship. You ship them."

"Oh," I say, still confused.

"You know..."

"You know, I don't care," I say getting up and walking out. Slightly flustered.

I walk over to my bed and lay down. I close my eyes.

-play song-

I open my eyes and I look outside. My dad. A walker. Right outside my window. My eyes instantly flood with tears and I step back. I don't let the tears fall. Then a memory hits me.

--trigger warning-

I'm sitting in my room. Drawing and listening to a small radio I found. I hear my dad's footsteps stomping outside my door. Then he punches a hole in my door. His face peers through and he looks mad. He kicks in my door. My face turns into a waterfall. I start sobbing loudly. The truth is, I'm scared. He pulls out a pistol. He slams it on my desk, causing a small hole to form underneath.

"Let's play a game." He says

I try to crawl away but he grabs me by my neck and shocks me with a taser until I scream for mercy.

"Russian roulette." He says, close to my face.

He picks up the gun and hands it to me. My tears stop flowing. Here is my chance to get out of this hell. I spin the barrel of the gun and lock it into place. I hold it up to my head and look at my father, dead in the eyes. I pull the trigger.

-click-

I'm not dead. Why. My tears start flowing again. He takes out his taser and tases my until I pass out.

-end of flashback-

I back away from the window but I trip on something. My mother. I scramble to my feet and sprint out of the prison. I can't take this place. I climb over the fence and run through the field. All the walkers look like the past people I killed. I run to the gate and climb the fence, avoiding the barbed wire.

I run through the forest as fast as I can. Why. Why me.

"WHY ME?!" I yell at the sky.

I get angry. I run over to a tree and start punching and kicking it. With one final blow, it falls over. I fall to my knees. I let out a breath and do the steps an old friend taught me when I needed to calm down.

I put my hands together and lean my head back, looking at the sky. I sit there and stare at the clouds. I listen to the wind blowing, and the leaves rustling. He told me,

"Even if you can't go outside, ignore all outside surrounding and stare at anything. Focus. That's all you need."

He would always give me good advice. Then a branch snaps. I throw a knife at the tree behind them.

Daryl.

I get up and spring farther into the woods. Him trudging behind me. With him not far behind, I scale a tree as fast as I can. But since he's so tall, he grabs my foot and pulls me down.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" He yells at me

I visibly jump at his voice. My dad used to say the same thing. He looks a bit taken aback by my reaction. He tries to reach for me but I push him away. I get up and walk away.

He just stands there. Then leaves.

It's almost sunset. I found a cliff and I hang my feet over the edge. I stare out there. Blankly. Lost in my past.

Then I get hugged from the back. Tears flood my eyes. But they don't fall. They can't. I won't let them.

"It's going to be ok." A voice says

I look over and see Sarah, Gianna, Grace, and Sean. No one else. No walkers, no other people but my friends. But they are dead. I watched them die. Memories hit me like a bullet.

We would hang out when my parents were out at a bar or passed out drunk. They would support me when I can't support myself. They are the reason I'm strong and not as weak a paper.

Sarah would always help me with my confidence and would tell me everything would be ok even when it wasn't. She would make me smile even if I was practically dying. She would take the pain away. She was a painkiller you would never thought would have existed. She knew what I was going through and she would fix it. Even if it wasn't permanent.

Gianna would show me a new way out. She would give me ways to be stronger. Support me like an older sister would. She would guide me, even if it wasn't the yellow brick road, to a magical place away from this hell.

Grace knew what I was going through. Her parents would beat her and she would suffer alongside me. She would make me wait for her whenever I said I was going to kill myself.

Sean would push everything aside and make me smile. He would make me forget what's happening to myself. He would complain about everything but that's why I loved him.

The tears start to stream down my face. I can't take it. They try to hug me. But they can't get to me. My aura is too strong. I'm surrounded by a gold bubble, lined with a thick, black, and sticky looking lining. As I touch the gold my hand glows. But when my hand goes through to the black, my arm is covered in something that looks like tar.

I open my eyes. The sun is almost fully set. My tears are in my eyes. No aura surrounding me. No walkers. No people. No sound.

Then I'm engulfed in a soft but strong hug. It's Daryl. I lean into the hug.

"It's ok." He tells me.

We sit there for a while. The sun finally sets and the stats like the sky, like a million lanterns. It's beautiful.

"Come on." He says getting up.

I take my time walking back with him. Ignoring the outside. Just enjoying walking with him. He takes my hand in his.

Then a knife goes through his back. Blood trickles through his shirt. I look up and see me behind my ex-boyfriend. Me stabbing him in the back. Then everything goes black.

I wake up on my side. Facing the window. It's nighttime and everything is quiet. Everyone's asleep. Only one tear rolls down my cheek.

"What the hell was that," I whisper, holding my head with a hand.

I get up and walk outside. Walkers are still scattered across the yard. I let out a deep sigh. What do I do?